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Well, I realised I was in the community when I was 15 but I’m still figuring out myself. I started coming out when I was 16 and now I just don’t really care who knows cause I love myself and that’s all you need.
I had felt “different” from others since I was very very young, I didn’t necessarily understand that I liked girls but I knew I didn’t feel for boys the same way my friends felt for them.
Growing up, being gay didn’t even cross my mind until I was maybe in high school and all my friends had crushes and boyfriends and I felt pressured to have a crush. It never occurred to me that I had crushes because they were not boys. I felt like I needed to like boys so I “tricked” myself into thinking I did.
The fact that I had never seen or known any gay people or specifically any lesbians and the fact that I started listening to some homophobic things from my friends and family made it difficult for me to get in touch with this part of my identity. Deep down I always felt I wasn’t allowed to be myself and I didn’t want to tolerate that.
So fast forward, I graduated high school I moved from my home country of Colombia to Argentina, went to university there and started meeting so many different people from all walks of life, straight, gay, bi. People who accepted and loved me and made me feel safe and seen. The 4 years I lived in Argentina where some of the hardest years I’ve had yet. I was diagnosed with depression and was really struggling to find my voice. After many years of therapy and working on understanding myself I finally realized and accepted that the reason why I hadn’t had any romantic relationships with men wasn’t that I was unlovable or ugly or not girlfriend material but because I wasn’t attracted to men. I was 22.
I felt like the weight of the world had lifted off of my shoulders and I wanted everyone to know that I thought girls were beautiful. I came out right away, I felt like 22 years was enough time to hide this and feel ashamed, and I didn’t wanna do it anymore. I was lucky enough to have friends and family who opened their arms to this part of me and still loved me for all that I am.
My name is Luisa and I am a Lesbian. 🙂
I really wasn’t aware of my sexuality until I was about 21 or so. Before that, I just thought I was suppose to have a boyfriend, and never really questioned it. Not out of fear or being closed up, it just didn’t occur to me TBH.
However I never felt truly content in my relationships with men.
Later I joined a theater school/company which had a lot of LGBTQ members, and that’s really when I kind of realised that there was this whole world of possibilities; it sounds like I was living under a rock LOL, but I guess my head was elsewhere, and my path to find this part of myself was supposed to be this way.
Once I had this realization, everything changed. Love seemed more possible somehow. And I truly belive this is the feeling everyone should have, without even needing a label or specific rights. We’re humans, that’s all. There are so many things to fight for in this world, and the freedom to love whoever our hearts want should not be one of them. It is, after all, the most universal practice/feeling; and it shouldn’t be caged into one ideology.
I’m grateful to have a wonderful and open minded family, and coming out wasn’t an issue. I wish it could be this way for all of you; and that soon enough the term “coming out” will not even exist anymore. We will just love who we love, no questions asked.
I realized that I was different since I was little, when I fell in love with my roommate at age 7. Of course, I didn’t understand what that meant, but I knew I had something different. I grew up and my look to my friends was different from the look to my friends. When I got to the age to understand what was happening I repressed all this feeling. I started kissing the boys, buying posters of beautiful actors, talking about boys, trying to make me believe that I was not a lesbian. Because for the society in my time (today I am 37 years old), I was much more prejudiced, and still had my family, especially my mother, religious and very attached to children. I was afraid of hurting her.
At 15 I had my first homosexual experience. I kissed a girl. It was so strange, confusing but, at the same time, great. At that moment I realized that what I felt was for real! However, I still didn’t have the courage to take on myself or others! It was then that I plunged into religion! I participated in celebrations, prayer groups, youth groups, retreats, etc., to try to hide, oppress what I felt. It was a very big internal conflict, I suffered a lot at that time. Then I started to date a boy. It was only 6 months, then a girl appeared with whom I fell madly in love. I couldn’t resist! I stopped fighting a war that was already lost but I didn’t want to lose. I ended my relationship and we got involved. It was 4 wonderful years. Not so much with my mother! One day I went out to find my girlfriend and my mother went after me. I got a huge scare. She asked me if I liked women, I didn’t have the courage to say yes and said no. Until one day she asked me again and my heart filled with courage and I said yes. She said that I had not chosen to be a lesbian, that I simply felt attracted to women. That I did not want and never wanted to make her suffer.
At first it was very difficult, but little by little she realized how happy I was, how happy I am. I earned her and everyone in my family’s respect with great honor, dignity, wisdom and character. I love who I am and I don’t give up being happy to the detriment of anyone else!
since i’m still really young and somewhat closeted, there’s not a ton that i can do, but i try everyday to make someone else smile. i make sure that my friends know they’re valid and that how they feel is valid. i make sure they know they’re loved. coming to the realization that i was gay was pretty difficult. especially because i’ve grown up christian, so i just assumed that i should be homophobic because that’s how it works, right? it wasn’t until i hit middle school that i realized that just because i’m christian i don’t have to be homophobic. my friends started coming out to me and i realized that it doesn’t matter that they’re gay because i still love them and being gay hasn’t changed who they are. it’s just given them more confidence and that’s beautiful! by seeing how confident my friends were in coming out and just being themselves, it gave me the courage to explore my queerness. there was a lot of internalized homophobia which made it difficult to to finally just say to myself that i don’t like boys. but eventually, i got there. coming out to my friends was pretty easy since most of my friends were already out to me. the friends i was really anxious to come out to we’re my church friends. i could’ve chosen to just stay in the closet and hide part of me from them, but the more i tried to hide it, the harder it became to be around them. and not being around them really hurt because they’re some of my BEST friends! so one day, i decided to just go for it. i told all of them individually and to my surprise, they were ok with it! they know i’m gay and they still love me! they put up with my stupid gay jokes and all of my weird hand gestures. i am so lucky to have friends like them and i realize that not everyone is this lucky, but if you’re struggling to come out, or you want to come out but you’re not sure of your label yet, this is my advice to you: you don’t need a label to be valid. wait until you’re ready. don’t force yourself out of the closet. wait until you’re sure you’re ready. you don’t have to tell everyone all at once. you can pick just a few people or even just one person to come out to. if that person/those people don’t accept you at first, give them time. think about how long it took you to accept yourself! if they say that they can never accept you, i know it hurts, but remember that there is an ENTIRE COMMUNITY right here who is ready to accept and love you for exactly who you are! for all of my christen queer folks, i know that people often say “jesus said that being gay is wrong” or “being gay is a sin”, but that’s not true. jesus never ONCE said that being is wrong. your sexuality is NOT a sin, but even if it was, god says that all sins are equal! and jesus died FOR our sins! so that they may be forgiven!! you can be queer and christen. god still loves you! (i know this was really long. sorry) i hope this made you smile and/or gave you validation. have a wonderful day!
Growing up in a household where homosexuality was never discussed, I never realized that I in fact was a lesbian. I started to fantasize about women at a young age (5 y/o), but it was not until high school that it really started to hit me. I realize that I was not flirting with guys who were trying to hook up because I was too distracted by the beautiful girl near me. During the day I was busy with theatre, dealing with my father’s death, shitty math classes that I could barely pass, and other things; however, during the night it was just me and my thoughts. It came to the point where I could not take it anymore and was miserable. I knew that I had to do something right then and there. Of course I would muster up the courage to come out in the early AM while everyone was asleep except for my sister. I decided that the best thing I could do is type out an e-mail and send it to those who I valued opinions from the most, so I did and it was the most terrifying e-mail I have ever sent. Since my sister was still out and about with her boyfriend, I decided I would text her. Her response was almost immediate. I was shocked to see that all she wrote was “it’s about time”. That helped me relax a bit that night, but the nagging thoughts of me losing my best friends and family members made it a restless sleep. I was so worried my female best friends would think I intentionally wanted to share a bed during sleepovers because I wanted to sleep with them. I was terrified to be woken up in the middle of the night to my mum dragging me out of the house by my hair and disowning me. Would the man who promised my dad he would take care of us disown me so I am completely out of a father figure? When morning came I managed to get out of bed and right when I opened my door the universe made sure it was at the same time my mum was walking out of her room. We stood there staring at each other and the look she gave me I have never seen before. Thankfully after what felt like hundreds of hours she asked, “are you sure?”. I said yes and b-lined for the bathroom. Nothing else was said after that until I caught her watching a documentary on homosexuality a few days later. This time the looks were reversed! Thankfully most of my loved ones were accepting. I was set free on Monday, October 6th, 2008 at 12:30AM. <3
I knew I was part of the community when I was young and I just never really knew what “gay” felt like so then I got older(16 now) I finally got the courage to tell my parents, but first I told my friend by passing a note, then she said she was bi too and then I came out to my mom but couldn’t tell my dad because I feel like he had a whole other perspective on it, but my mom secretly told my dad and he is cool with it. I told my sister and she is very supportive of it and we have a closer bond together and we always joke around and pick out my “future girlfriend.” My whole family is supportive of me, including my grandma, and doesn’t think any different of me and I can’t wait for what the future holds for me!
I realised kind of early I guess, lucky I know. I realised about a year and a half ago when I was 15. When I realised I sort of started to see that just because I had realised it then, it didn’t mean I had changed, it was always inside of me I just didn’t understand it. I told a few friends and one brother, but not everyone, not yet. I used to get called tranny, because I wasn’t a ‘girly girl’, I liked cricket, never wore dresses or make up. I don’t want to be a guy, but I fear that even though I know that, admitting I like girls would just be another reason for people to assume I’m more like a guy. For a while it confused me, but I know now that liking girls doesn’t make me less of a girl, so I’m hoping to tell the rest of my family soon and be out, and I know what I feared may still happen, but I realise now that as long as I accept it about myself, it doesn’t matter what they think of it.
During high school. When I got my current girl friend, I came out to my best buddy and one of my close aunt. Only 2 of them that I told them personally. One day, 1 of my BFF noticed my interactions with my girl friend and confronted me. That’s where I’m forced to come out to another few of my BFF.
Okay so I know now that I have always been gay, but I just realized that with 16 (now 18) basically when I had my second surgery I had a huge crush on this night shift nurse hahaha and I have always pressed the nursing button so that she would come and talk to me. Then the first person I told that was my best friend and she was totally okay with it.
After 3 more weeks I spoke to my brother, me and him were sitting in the car and talked and I just wanted to tell him. I told him „ I have to tell you something but I also am very scared to tell you” he said that it’s all good and that he would never judge me for any actions that I did. But then I got scared again and said that I won’t tell him and well he said „ why what’s wrong do you have a boyfriend?” and I said no. He answer with do you like girls ? And I said yes and I got so ashamed… he looked up to me and said and ? That doesn’t change anything!
2 years later
Im fully out to everyone and I’m proud to tell my not soooo dramatic or shocking story but I just feel like that you can always count on your siblings ( at least I can I hope you too)
I feel like he reacted in the perfect and accepting way 🙂 and as a example my when my grandmother found out she wasn’t happy about it and treated me like I’m not worth it and today I don’t talk to her anymore, but that is okay if she doesn’t accept me that she can’t be in my life.
So I hope you are all Save and have a Great Morning/evening/Weekend/week
XO
