Our shop will be on a break between January 4th – January 23rd. All orders placed between these dates will be processed on our return. Thank you!
TRIGGER WARNING: Some of the posts on this page may contain sensitive or potentially triggering content. Start the Wave has tried to identify these posts and place individual trigger warnings on them.
Should you come across any content that needs further review, please contact us through the Contact Us page.
I was always attracted to both men and women and deep down I knew that I like both men and women as I don’t look them as genders I look them as beautiful heart. I am from India and I never got the courage to share this with my family that for me love is love but hopefully soon I will let them know that I am QUEER !!
When I was kid growing up all I knew and was taught was that same sex marriage isn’t normal it isn’t right. That I needed to marry a man and give my mom and grandma grand baby’s. However as time went in and I moved away from my grandmothers believes I saw how much different I became not always wondering how I’m going to be looked at for you I love. I got more comfortable being myself around my fiends and admitting to them that I am a women who loved both women and men.
My friends accepted me with open harms some even confided in me and came out to me. I found out how out how it felt to be in a relationship with both genders and see how I became as my true self.
By the age of 14 I came out to my parents. They were both so supportive and proud that I was finally able to tell them my true self. They also told me how they always knew they just wanted me to figure it out myself. They welcomed me with open arms and showed me how I can be who I am around them without any worries. About a year or two later I came out the my grandma which was the hardest person I have ever came out to. At first she wasn’t okay with it she didn’t want to believe this is who I am. But after time when she saw that he wasn’t going to let her be the reason as to why I’m going to change am who I am she saw how much love this community gave out to everyone, she saw all the positivity that the lgbtq+ community gave to everyone struggling with finding them true selfs and realized that there is nothing wrong with me being open about myself and showing the world that I don’t give a fuck with what they have to say as long as I’m happy!
That’s all that really matters in life that I worry about myself only. And help me be more happy and confident in who I have become in these last few years.
So here I say to all of you;
Do not let others tell you who you can and cannot love.
Do not let people make you think what you feel is wrong
Sit down with yourself and tell yourself “I’m okay I’m strong and I can get through anything in life. I got this just gotta keep my head up! “
Show yourself some love!
Keeping being you no matter what anyone says.
I am a proud bisexual Latina woman who is still showing others around me that it is okay to be yourself even if that means having to go through rough patches in order to prove that I could care less with what people think of me because I’m a proud fucking bitch and I ain’t about to apologize for being me. So if anyone has a problem with it, then honey don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out
I’m a 30 year old female and I grew up in a small village in the north of Sweden and I can’t remember ever thinking I was straight so I guess I always knew I was into women.
I always knew who I was and I liked that I liked women and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
But the thought of anyone else knowing that would bring embarrassment to myself. As this was something that was made fun of by people around me.
Growing up I would have a couple of boyfriends but only so people wouldn’t suspect anything else.
I always knew if I came out to my family and friends they would be very supportive. But for some reason I just felt embarrassed to be gay and I grew up hoping no one would find out.
When I turned 19 years old I had met a woman and I fell in love and became a relationship. I knew it was time to come out.
I’ve never been so scared in my life, I was crying and shaking and finally told my mom, brother and sister I be fallen in love with a woman and I’m gay.
My mother responded with: why yes we know darling, we have always known.
My sister laughted as it was old news.
My brother just didn’t care what and who I did.
I went in to my room as my mother went outside and told my father and he came in and hugged me and said “I love you”. That’s all I needed.
My grandmother said “good! Men are arseholes”
My other grandmother said she wanted me to be happy and days after she had a necklace made with a heart that said” follow your heart”
Everyone else in my family were of course also accepting as well as my friends.
I was very lucky, not everyone are as lucky as I was.
I’m today a proud queer woman and there is no embarrassment left in me. Thanks to my beautiful friends and family. 
take care of each other!
Xoxo Carro
Hi guys my name is Gaby, I have 23 years old and I from Venezuela but I live in Argentina.
so here goes:
I started to feel strange when I was very young, when I have 10 I started to realize that I was attracted to one girl in my school something that not happened to me with boys, it was a stange felling it scared me a lot I studied in a religious school and my family were very traditional So what they had instilled in me since I was little was that those feelings I was having were VERY BAD because of that I made my feelings go aside I grew up trying to ignore what I felt, I knew that something was different in me and that kept scaring me a lot, I did not talk to anyone, many nights I cried and told myself that it could not be like this, God going to punish me and that My mom would suffer a lot, so I kept ignoring that feeling and hid it pretty well until I fell in love. I fell in love with a girl without realizing how it happened, but it was what I felt, I do not know what happened to me, but one day I woke up and told myself that I could not continue deceiving myself, that I could not let go of my happiness because of people think bad about me, so I dared to be myself, it was not easy to accept me but when I decided to talk to my friends they supported me 100%, gave me strength, I started to read and see lgbt characters on tv what made me inspire me more and more and make me feel great, YES I am different and what? being different is AWASOME.
Time passed and I decided to come out the closet with my mom, I can swear that it has been the most hard and sad moment for me, she cried a lot, got angry to the point of calling the who was my girlfriend at that time and demand her that she move away from me I was a minor (16 years to be exact), that night I felt extremely bad I came to feel very guilty for all the pain my mom was feeling, for my mom, being a lesbian was the same as being a drug addict, coming out with my mom it was not nice, but I must say that it is the best thing that I could do, After several visits to the psychiatrist, many conversations, and all the information my mother sought about homosexuality, today my mother has become my greatest support. hearing from my mother “You are my daughter, I love and accept you as and as you are “is the most gratifying and beautiful thing that has happened to me, she supports me, she loves me as well as she also loves my girlfriend (The love of my life), little by little I was telling my cousins and aunts my truth and I The only thing I have received is love and support, now and after several years (I am 23 years old) I can say that I am a free woman to love whoever I wantand with all the confidence to shout it out to the world, thank you To my mother who despite being from another era and being a traditionalist, put love for her daughter before everything, thanks to my friends for always supporting me, thanks to the fact that we now have good and incredible LGBTQ representation on TV, I must thank the universe for putting such amazing people in my life. I really hope that if you are reading this it will help you, that you understand you are not alone, that the world is a beautiful place, love always win because LOVE IS LOVE and love is what moves the world.
Be BRAVE, be STRONG, be HAPPY and FREE.
This was my story, thanks for letting me share it with you
So I pretty much knew I was gay from a very young age. I have always been attracted to women. But as most people I just hid how I felt and had a few boyfriends. I just kept it in for so long and always felt alone and I just wanted too scream some days ” I’m Queer” .. but was always too scared to say anything to my family or friends. Just one day I couldn’t cope any more I didn’t want too be in the relationship I was in and I just cried most nights, I was so confused and scared. So I just braved it up and got my Mum, Sister and Brother together and told them I was GAY !. My Sister and Brother were awesome and just said we kinda knew really. My Mum not so much or my Dad actually.. They both disowned me, wanted to get me help .. I moved out of home and didn’t speak to them for years, not that I did want too, they just couldn’t deal with the fact I was gay. My friends on the other hand were fantastic, so supportive.. The ting is as much as it broke my heart about my Mum and Dad, I just felt so liberated and best of all FREE to be me just ME ! And that was the game changer in my life. I would always advise people to come out as your people around you that love you will always support you. Holding in who you are is the WORST! . I’m there for anyone that wants to come out as I know how scary and hard it is. Be yourself and as Dom said you will SHINE !!!
I knew when I was 10, I think, I first thought I was bisexual, but two years later I found out that I was gay. I came out to my friends way sooner then my parents. I came out to my parents in the end of 2018, when the president of my country was elected. I cried so much and told them that I was crying because I am not straight (he’s a sexist homophobic man). I’m not out to my whole family, just a few relatives, and now that I have a girlfriend I want to come out, but I’m really scared. Oh! By the way, I’m 13, turning 14 in August.
I’ve always been terrified to accept myself and i’ve never been truly comfortable with who i am. It all started to get a little fuzzy around the age of 11, i was attracted to a girl, and i was so confused about who i was. No one else in my school were part of the LGBTQ+, well none were out anyway, so i felt alone. I remember thinking to myself that it would just go away, that i just thought she was pretty. A year later i had told everyone i was straight and that it was just a phase and i don’t know what was going through my mind. Now, aged 14, i’m finally figuring out myself again. I’ve met some incredible people who are part of LGBTQ+ and they’ve helped me find myself. I remember that i used to look up pretty girls, and that i used to have obsessions with actresses. I found Wynonna Earp on youtube. It was nice to see a lesbian couple portrayed in an incredible show. i remember going straight to instagram, i followed every wayhaught fan page i could find, i followed the whole cast and made many pinterest boards of wayhaught. it was then i realised that i most certainly, was not straight. I’m still figuring myself out, and i hate putting labels on myself if anyone asks me. for now i’m calling myself a bi-sexual, or i like whoever i like. maybe one day i will find myself more, but i want to say thankyou for inspiring me to spread my story and show that there is nothing wrong with being something other than straight. i have faced many homophobes recently and i want to tell people that it will get better. thankyou Dom:) Xx
It is only when I look back that things really become clear. For example, it is obvious now why I had a crush on my P.E teacher (but then who didn’t!). But at the time I was just a confused teenager trying to make sense of all that I was feeling. I guess that is the same for everybody when they first become aware of themselves as sexual beings, regardless of their sexuality. I don’t know how old I was, I’m guessing around 15? There was a Lesbian couple living opposite my family home, and I remember asking myself if I was like them, but then thinking that even if I was, I wouldn’t know what to do about it. This was the early 1980s, and things were not socially like they are now.
I left school in 1984 at the age of 17, got a job, and was happy just being me. I had no desire to meet anybody but I was aware that getting a boyfriend was the next thing on the list of things that were expected of me by society. I must add here that no pressure came from my family. So I conformed, and had a couple of boyfriends over the next couple of years. Looking back I actually feel sorry for them, they clearly wanted more than I was willing to give. Subconsciously I would never put myself in a position with them where things could progress physically. To me, they were friends who just happen to be male – simple. That’s why they never stuck around long I’m guessing.
Then in 1987 I started my Nurse training in the NHS. Six months into my course and my path crossed with another student who was to become my first girlfriend. We started out as friends. I knew she was gay, she never hid it. But I still wasn’t out, even to myself. Over time though the penny finally dropped and we got closer and closer. She would go on to say that she was just waiting for me to realise for myself, she apparently knew already.
That was when I started living the double life that will be familiar to a lot of people reading this. Luckily I was living at the hospital in nurses accommodation. It certainly made it easier, but hiding this part of me from my family didn’t feel right. My girlfriend, even though 7 years older than me, was also not out to her parents, which in a way made it easier for me to take the easy way out and keep my sexuality hidden from everyone but her.
Around the same time, when my world was rapidly changing around me, my sister passed way from Leukaemia. She was 36 years old and had only been ill for a few months before she died. My Father had died a couple years before this, and then for my sister to die….. I don’t know how my Mother and family (I am the youngest of 5 children) got through it, but we did. As for me, I didn’t want to add to the mix by coming out, so I stayed very firmly in. I can’t in all honesty say that had my sister not died I would have come out because I don’t know. Maybe it was just another reason for me to take the easy way out.
Life settled down, and I was happy, but still living a double life. I kind of found it exciting in the beginning, but as I got older, it became tiring. My girlfriend was accepted into my family, as I was into hers, but nothing was ever said. The more time that passed the harder it got to think about coming out. As it turns out, our families had guessed anyway and were happy for us. They were just waiting for us to say something. We didn’t know this at the time however.
In 2000 the unimaginable happened. My Mother passed away. And for me, devastated as I was I knew the time had come, there was no more procrastinating , I had to come out to my brothers and sister. I was 33 years old, and my girlfriend and I had been together for years. Even then, the thing that made my mind up once and for all, was that I wanted my girlfriend to travel in the funeral car with the husband and wives of my siblings. I remember the exact moment. The others were downstairs in my mother’s house and my girlfriend and I were upstairs talking. My sister-in-law then came and joined us. We chatted about other things to start, then I simply said that my girlfriend and I were a couple, and that I wanted her to travel in the family car behind my mother’s coffin.
That was it. I was out. The relief was immense, but mixed with nerves and grief for my mother. All my Sister-in-law said was “Well about damn time” and hugged me, before going back downstairs where she was of course going to tell the others.
A short time later my girlfriend and I also went downstairs. All my family were in the garden, and when I stepped out there to join them I was mobbed. I found myself in the middle of a huge group hug filled with love and reassurance. It was such a surreal time, grief for my mother, together with the relief of coming out and being accepted by my family.
There was only one negative. After the funeral, my sister’s husband came up to me. I had only seen him a couple of times since my sister passed away a few years earlier, and he said something along the lines of “There’s my perverted sister-in-law”. I’m not sure if he was serious or if he thought he was being funny, either way it wasn’t the time or the place, and he was dragged away by one of my brothers and told to go home.
And that is my coming out story.
The relationship I was in then came to an end after just over 17 years together. However, I am now married to an amazing woman, my real soulmate, we’ve been together for 11 years. I sometimes think my family like her more than me.
I am now 53 years old and I only have two regrets in life. The first is that I never allowed my dear Mum to know the real me, because I was scared to come out to her, and the second is that my Wife never met her. Or my Sister. Or my Brother who also died from Leukaemia 14 years ago.
Apart from that, life is wonderful.
I came out as bisexual when I was 12 because my knowledge of things like pansexuality was really limited. It wasnt till I was 13 that I realized I was pan. I knew that I would be accepted by my family but I was still scared. Like, once I told everyone it would be a reality. I knew I liked girls when I would look more at girls in movies and I would desperately try to find a boy to tell my friends I liked. I fell in love with my best friend which is such a trope but moving on, it was watching TV shows that I really found my home (if that makes sense). It was watching shows like Glee, Wynonna Earp, and One Day at a Time that I found my confidence. I think the hardest part of it all was learning to accept myself and dealing with hiding a part of myself. Now I’m 15 though, I spend time working on ways to make other people feel accepted and safe. I think the main thing that is really helped me is seeing lgbtq+ people on TV and normalizing it.
I have just discovered Wynonna Earp this year (2021) and through watching that came across Dom’s post, and I have never in my life been so inspired and scared at the same time. I related to her words so much and felt so thankful for this person that I have never even met.
I’m 29 years old and I have been annoyed at myself for not truly knowing myself at this stage in my life, but maybe this is just how my journey is meant to be. I am not out. I have a boyfriend of nearly 6 years, who I love, but I don’t think we’re in love anymore. I have always felt I could fall in love with a man or woman. I have suppressed my feelings in the past, and constantly doubted what I was feeling – I thought because I was abused as a child that that was the reason that I didn’t always fancy boys. Plus, I already had (have) that secret, surely I can’t deal with another one…please.
I guess there’s always been that part of me that was hiding, I was always looking to please other people and I never once gave in to what I thought could make me happy. When my Twin sister came out as gay, I assumed well that’s it, I can’t be gay or bisexual because she is, that must mean I do like boys, so I’ll just carry on with my life. Yet, every now and again, there’d be something in me that just wasn’t sure.. I guess I came up with every excuse in my head…I still am in a way to be honest, but maybe that’s why I’m writing this – to prove to myself that I can finally learn to be my true self.
All I have ever wanted from life is to be happy, and I don’t know that I ever have been, but I’m trying to change that, and I am hoping that one day soon I will be able to confidently express who I really am and be welcomed in to a community that I am yearning to join, but feel so damn scared to. I just want to be me…whoever that may be.
