Community Rainbow Waves

Toni

Hi, my name is Toni I am 13 and I’m Bisexual. I have two very conservative parents who may never support who I am. But, that’s fine with me because I’ve realized over the years that their opinion on my love life doesn’t matter. As long as I’m happy and the person treats me right why should how they identity matter? Being with a woman is a better experience than being with a man. When you’re with a woman, they understand you better, they can relate to all the struggles that come with being a woman. Especially if your a colored queer woman in America. My family has no idea how I feel they won’t accept it but I’ve decided that once I’m 18, I’ll come out to them. That way, they can’t kick me out, by then they can disown me if that’s what they choose, at least I’ll be happy.

As a survivor of 3 years of sexual assault, it’s more common for me to gravitate towards women. It’s ok for me not to be comfortable with a man. Those 3 years of my life were the longest and hardest. It started when I was 7 turning 8 and it ended when I was 11. During the duration of those years, I was very depressed life was so miserable. Then, I meet a girl who changed my point of view of things, she had experienced the same tragedy as me. We were both survivors, we are always there for each other, we make each other smile it’s great. The sad part about the whole thing is the person who ruined my childhood is someone that I will continue to see. My family knows of what happened, but they act like it’s never happened.

Once I came out to the people who genuinely know me, I’ve been living my best life, things have been so amazing, of course, life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows but for the most part, it’s alright. I’ve found out that I’m most happy when talking, thinking, or texting a girl. “Wynonna Earp”, Wayhaught’s relationship is so adorable, even though it’s just a show, Dom and Kat’s relationship is just so beautiful and It makes me think “Wow now that’s the kind of love I want, I want someone to look at me the way they look at each other.”

In all, I hope that what you can take from my little story, is don’t be afraid to be you screw anyone else’s opinion but your own. If they don’t like who you are then it’s their loss, live for yourself and who you want to be, don’t let others live through you.

A young queer girl

I was sadly never shown anything but what everyone considered social norms. Once I started to learn about the opening of sexuality and gender fluidity I knew I was different but I was always afraid of what it ment. I kept to myself I tried to push it down but I knew I couldn’t forever. I realized I liked girls and like most I thought I was gay. Then, I realized I didn’t just like girls it was the person not gender so I closed off more. I came across your show Wynonna Earp and I felt seen. I slowly came out to my friends last summer which thankfully they excepted me. I came out to my parents and family around September this year and they lucky support me for me too. I still didn’t like labels I said I was bisexual but it never felt right. I realized now I don’t need labels I love who I love no matter the gender. I’m lucky to have the support system I do because I know others don’t. I may be at the young age of (15) but I want to become a producer and director to show and create more positivity and love for everyone.

Bisexual

I felt (and still kind of do feel) a bit confused about who I like. But I knew I was 100% in to girls as well in 2016. I came out to my friends in 2017 and I promised my self I would come out to my family soon after. It’s now 2020 and I am still in the closet with my family. I know they know I am not straight but I am just too scared to have the conversation with them. I know they will accept me and nothing ‘bad’ is likely to happen but I just can’t say it to them and I am worried that they dynamics may change, especially with my dad.

I am a cis, gay woman

I knew I was a member of the community since middle school. I attended a private christian school that told me since I was 3 that being gay is wrong. Growing up with the mindset made it difficult for me when I had my first girlfriend in 8th grade. I had so much internalized homophobia and didn’t want to believe that I could possibly be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Being raised in a way where your whole relationship is “wrong” and “goes against the natural way of life” made me push down my romantic capacity for women. I first told my closest friends who accepted me with no hesitation during my freshman year. Now, I’ve told both of my parents and all of my friends as a freshman in college. I have never felt such unconditional love as I did when I came out this past year. I realized it was better to live my full truth rather than please others by refraining from sharing that side of myself. As my father told me when I came out to him, “I just want you to be happy which makes me happy, and I haven’t seen you smile in years until now. I finally have my daughter back and am so proud of the woman you have become.” All in all, being your authentic self is worth it. Those who truly deserve to be in your life will accept you sooner or later. You may be going through a rough patch right now, but I promise you it does get better. My own mother didn’t accept me at first and told me I will always be straight in her eyes. Now, she asks if I have a girlfriend and is ecstatic to get to meet my partner. Acceptance is becoming more widespread and only will continue to grow over the years. There is hope for a brighter future and you have a support system behind you. Be true to you!

I am bisexual

Well in 2018 when school ended I went to camp. While I was there I created new friendships. I learned from them about all different sexualities. I had only know of gay and lesbian. When I realized there was a way to like everyone or even just a boy and girl I felt different. I felt like a piece of my had changed in that moment. Then some of my friends were either lesbian or bisexual. I felt I had to do the same. I ended up saying I was bi. I didn’t actually know if i was but then I had done a lot of thinking what if I actually was. I got scared because I knew my sister would support but what about my parents.
My parents are very accepting but I still didn’t know. My dad though I didn’t know and got really scared, I had been watching riverdale and Choni came up my dad had walked past and said “what is this” I didn’t really think about it at first. Then while thinking I thought what if he doesn’t support. My mind went crazy. I was 10 at the time and didn’t know what to do. I love my parents dearly because without them I wouldnt be here. Because they took me in when I was just a tiny baby. I have always had support from them, but I was always scared to tell them anything. So when this came about I got scared. But I’ve learned i have to open up sometimes.
Well turns out I was truly bisexual. I ended up watching a lot of videos making sure. The videos made me more open minded and that there are other people out there struggling. Then I came across Wayhaught through the videos. I automatically fell in love with them. I realised that this is truly who I am and that I shouldn’t care about what people think. Then 6th grade happened.
That year was probably the worst. I had told people who I thought I could trust. Turns out I couldn’t, they had told the whole class that I was Lesbian even tho I was bi. I was terrified through that month because I didn’t know what they were thinking. I had been so confident that year after telling people. But when that happened I broke. I ended up feeling like trash. And i didn’t know how to handle it. Then that was when. I found my love for edits. They had helped a lot. Most of them were gay ships from tv shows or YouTube. The one that helped me most was Wayhaught. The edits of them made me feel better. Then the summer came around and I got Netflix. Finally I could watch Wynonna Earp!! The first time I watched it was for Wayhaught but then I actually fell in love with the show.
I felt loved more. During the summer me and my friend had become really close we were both able to talk about girls together. The summer made me feel wanted again and that I shouldn’t care if someone doesn’t accept me. When I went back to school this year for 7th I will admit I was a little scared but i had come with a plan. I didn’t even use it though. I chickened out and just said it was a rumor and that it was all a lie just because I got scared. Now I am still in 7th but I am more confident than ever. Yes it took a long while and it ended with really bad anxiety it was worth it knowing I am worth it.
I had accomplished one thing, I had come out to my sister!! Even tho I wanted to wait a little longer the universe had plans.
I have just finished rewatching Wynonna Earp for maybe the hundredth time lol. But now I am more confident to write this and declare my sexuality. Even tho it was a tough ride and it’s still not over I am here to say I AM OUT AND PROUD!! I deserve to be myself and not letting anyone’s opinions get I my way.

Lesbian

When I was fourteen I came out to my mother after I’ve been pretty sure that I was gay for a year or so. But she reacted the total opposite way of what I was expecting… saying that “it’s just a phase and I was too young to know stuff like this, I just haven’t met the right boy yet.” And that I was “lucky she wasn’t goint to tell my father about it.” Skipping to 2019, as I finally had the guts to institutionolize myself into a psychiatry after almost ten years of major mental health issues, I tried to be brave once again and come out to my mother. She apologized for the way she reacted back then and fully supports me in every desicion I make in my new out and proud life. It’s partly thanks to you, Dominique, and all the other actors who represented the queer community during this tough period of my life, that I am still alive today and grateful for every day I have on this earth. <3

I like to identify myself like just a girl who have fallen in love with her girlfriend

My name is Lucia and I am almost 30.
I don’t identify myself as gay or bisexual or queer…Honestly I have never think about this when talking about myself.
For all my life I have always had crushes for boys…So I thought things were good in this way. I was happy with myself…
Well, two years ago I met this girl, we started to text every day, I wanted her to come and visit me, u know…just for fun like friend do. She had a girlfriend that was so damn jealous about our friendship, I didn’t know why…It was just me who was trying to be a good friend.
What I started to realise is that I liked texting with her, she made me smile every single second and I wanted to see her whatever it took…Just I didn’t know what was the reason…U know…At that time I thought It was impossible I could felt something about her…
Well some months later I met a guy, we started to see each other but something felt wrong…this new relationship didn’t was right for me…Well he left me by the way and I was disappointed with all of this.
So, this girl I met broken up with her girlfriend…We were sad and single at the same time…To make me happy she decided to come and visit me for the first time, we wanted to sleep in a B&B room, I didn’t want her to be alone…Well, that night we kissed, I didn’t realise I kissed her until I felt her lips met my ones…It was…new, breathtaking and scary at the same time! My mind was over running with so many thoughts ‘WHAT IS APPENING?? WHY ME?? I LIKE HER? I LIKE GIRLS NOW?’
What I knew is that I didn’t wanted to lose her in any way…We have never part ways from that magical kiss…We talked about what happened and one month after she told me ‘So…What u want to do about this?’ And I was ‘Well, I don’t want to lose u, What I know is that I like u!’ And she was ‘So…Say it!’ And me ‘Well..I…Like u?’ And she ‘No…Do u want us to be girlfriends?’ I was so damn happy and scaried at the same time! For the first time in my life I had a girlfriend and not a boyfriend! I wanted to screem, but what I told her was ‘YES!!’
One week after I left home to work in another city and I was free to see her because I didn’t want my parents to know this…They weren’t supportive about me being with a girl.
Well, six months later I came back home and one month later my mom just found about about me…I still don’t know how. She told me she was disappointed! That happiness come with boys (WTF??) That this isn’t me because I have always had boyfriends and she couldn’t accept this. However she told me that she couldn’t forbidden me to live my life but she wasn’t happy. Is she does know about me, my dad isn’t aware about it…And it will be hard to tell him the truth…
Things are different with my friends, I am not out with all my friend but I am trying to be honest with them…Whose are close to me know everything about it and I am proud to say that I have the best friends I could ask to! They are 100% supportive.
I can say that I am very happy, I’ve never been so happy with anyone like I am now with my girlfriend…It seems like a dream with her…Just from our first kiss she made my heart beat like crazy! I,’ve never be in love with someone, I mean…really madly in love…I can’t describe all these feeling, we have been together for 2 years and it’s awesome…She is special to me, she is my life, my universe…She is the love of my life!

What I say is that I do not identify in any way…I am jus me…A girl madly in love with her girlfriend.

Anonymous – Pansexual

I knew I was part of the community when I was 7 because I had crushes on both genders but I was scared to tell anyone and specifically my family. And I am still scared to tell my family to this day. Unfortunately, because of this barrier / secret I have, I became emotionally distant from them since I was around 13. I told a couple of my close friends when I was 15-16 and they were all accepting of it. Luckily I lived in a diverse city but my immediate family / community are very close minded. Growing up, although my friends knew, I didn’t really have a community I can rely on. So, I’m so glad to have found Wynonna Earp because Earpers and the community helped me discover and accept who I am. I was scared to even say the phrase “I am queer” to anyone before Earpers. Now, I say it quite often and hopefully one day I will have the courage to say it to my family. So, thank you Earpers and Wynonna Earp for the community.

Fer

My first attraction to a woman was when I was 11 years old (2015) I didn’t really understand what was going on since I had heard something about that in my life since what my family believes and the way I was raised is that it is always a man and a woman so I thought that I had some flaw inside that made me feel very strong emotions towards someone that was not right. When I entered high school (2016) I had already heard and researched more things about the subject, on the one hand my family told me that the behavior of these people was unnatural and on the other hand the social networks began to ask for acceptance with the phrase ¨love is Love¨ which confused me more and more but one day on the program ¨supergirl’ Alex Danvers came out of the closet and I wished I was in his place, At that time I identified myself as a young bisexual woman, I began to watch programs like Wynonna Earp which is also one of the programs that has most marked my life from the way Waverly begins to accept her sexuality to her commitment to Nicole.
The first person I proposed to was my best friend and his reaction was better than I expected since he only told me that he supported me and then proceeded to ask me about her as if she was the most normal thing in the world and I loved that.
At my school I liked to talk to my classmates about it because sometimes my perspective and theirs helped us empathize with each other’s situations.
I hope that in a future there is no more the phrase ¨come from closet¨ and that all this is taken as something completely natural.

Lola

Hey, I’m a 14 year old girl and to start off let’s just say I’m very confused, I’m trying to figure out what I am and who I like but its difficult at my age especially when no one likes you back. When I was younger I remember never having crushes on female celebrity’s but I wanted to be them, one of my first crushes was harry styles and still is, and as for girls it was never celebs I was interested in, but my friends. I never knew whether I liked them, wanted to be best friends with them, or wanted to be them, since I had never felt that way to a girl before. Was I that one not normal kid who watched the girl in kissing scenes? made my barbie dolls wife and wife? And took quizzes to see if I was gay? (Which I still do to this day)

My first big real girl crush was someone in my year, and at the time it was almost a trend to be bisexual so most people said they were, apart from me, a part of me thinks that was because I knew deep down I was different and maybe bi and internalised homophobia wouldnt let me admit that, and still wont now, which is why I am so confused, but this girl, I was attracted to her personality more than anything, but it felt different to liking a boy, she was easy to talk to, I didnt have to act cool, so I thought “maybe I just wanna be friends with her it doesnt mean I like her right?” But this crush continued on and off to where I am now. Which is that I dont think I like anyone at the moment apart from the obvious celebs I adore of course.

It’s difficult to explain how I feel as I couldn’t imagine myself marrying a woman but is that just what society has drilled into my head? Is it internalised homophobia? I dont know. And I might not for a couple of years, and as frustrating as that is, it’s ok. I dont have to label myself right now, harry styles doesnt, hes confident right? Maybe I will never label myself and that’s still ok.