Community Rainbow Waves

I’m a woman who’s proud to love other women

My coming-out story is a loooong journey. I first faced my homosexuality when I was 18. I’d left my family-nest to pursue my studies, and it really was the first time I was left alone with myself. It became a journey, during which I discovered myself entirely.
And I met that one girl. She was gay, and I completely fell for her. That moment was the starting point of a really long thinking about my sexuality and myself in general. Each step was full of sadness and pain … but also full of joy. It took me 6 months to tell my closest friends about being in love with a woman. More than a year to completely accept and embrace my homosexuality.
But the hardest part was telling my family. I’m really close to them, we share everything and love each other so fucking much. Taking the risk to lose all of this by telling them my truth, it was unimaginable for me. So I kept it inside of me for 4 (very long) years. The thing is, I was exhausted. Exhausted of lying to the ones I love, of hiding my feelings and a huge part of my life.
That is why, on January 1st 2019, I confessed to my family about my homosexuality. And, damn it, all the feedbacks I received were full of love and acceptance. I was scared of crying because they would reject me. Instead, I cried only tears of joy because they accepted me. Whole of me.
Nowadays, I’m a very happy 24 years-old gay AF woman.
M.
From France.

Bisexual or probably pansexual?

I am not fully out yet. Sometime, I still need to shield my sexual identity for several different reasons. First, maybe because I don’t really want to be labelled. Second, perhaps just simply out of fear.

Hi, I am from Indonesia. I am at my 40s, and I am a single mom. I had came out as bisexual in small circle of my friends & fam a long ago, but it wasn’t because I was feeling anxious or “awaken” to my queer side. It was purely that time out of curiosity and adventurous sense.

I was in highschool when I read Freud’s. I came to conclusion that somehow everyone born with both male/female potential in them. I began to notice my own, and tried to explore that part by admitting that my past attraction to the same-sex was not mere platonic or so so. It was the same kind with my attraction to the opposite-sex. It also brought me to revisit my childhood girl crush when I was in 2nd grade junior high (12/13 y.o.) which I did not fully aware that I was making a courtship attempt toward her that time.

In highschool, after opening the lock to my universal self – and let me free to identify myself as sexually fluid, I started flowing with same-sex crush, though not doing anything about it.

There was no different, come to think about it now, between my feeling to girl before I am aware of my sexuality and after admitting it. The feeling were the same, but by making a name on myself, I then know how to name the feeling as well. “I had crush with girl”.

Despite so, I did not make any attempt to experience. It was pretty rare for me being bisexual in my small city, with no meeting of the same type of peer, and honestly I didn’t feel comfortable either to be involved or being identified marginal in society.

I am an aquarius, my choice is not to be identified with others, I am just being honest with myself and simply being me. So my sexual identity is MY identity, my choice, my own – yet I didn’t feel the need to act on it.

Later in my life, after my first divorce when I was in my early 20th, I decided to explore the notion of love. I was thinking that I had never experienced feeling in love before, as my head was focused on goal and success. But being a divorcee revealed the need for me to understand love. So again, I made my exploration and adventure. Brought up in conventional and religious environment, I started to experience the pre-marital sex with few men, and I also embraced the feeling of falling in love for the first time with my female friend. Nothing went well (nothing last).

Then in my late 20, I got pregnant. A consequence of my wild free spirited. The guy wanted me to get an abortion as he was married and with me it mere a fling. But never crossed in my mind to take that journey. I was ready to be responsible so I refused. I asked him to marry me instead for the sake of the future born child (as it was mere for legal sake) – he did, for a while, before then he ran away when I was 8 months pregnant.

My course of life changed of course being a single parent. Wanted to build my future success again, I also took a shift in career-wise. I moved to a village as a general practitioner (medical doctor), a stepping stone to collect fund to continue education. I left my son with parents. This decision, would be the milestone of my love life as a queer.

There I met a colleague. A “straight” wife. We found the attraction quite instantly. Divorced her abusive husband, we started “living together”. We had an affair during that time in a scrutinized village environment. I was not scared, I even brought her to meet my family and admitted her as my lover to my best friends. I met her family too, but everything was mere an “unspoken truth” to them.

Not like me, she was not fully embraced her sexuality. To her she was not ready to live truthfully within bigotry society. She chose to leave and marry man.

It was the first time that Love trully changed my life and forced me to go on self journey to find out more about who I am. It was also the first time I realized that I may love woman more than a man. My sexual exprience with her was off the chart. I never felt it before with men. I never realized this before.

When Dom (before coming out) shared her opinion the difference between intimacy with male vs female, I relate to that 100%. It was exactly how I said it a long ago, it was also later how I felt when I finally being sexual with same-sex.

Now, I am just a Self. Enjoying my singlehood. Still looking for my truelove/soulmate/twinflame. Not yet decided for sure if I want to be identified publicly as queer. And fully occupied in planning for my future career as again I make an “adventure” toward it after many defeats.

Nevertheless, I want to send lots of love to people who is unique and marginal. Who are unable to see themselves fit the norm or societal tagged. I believe that we all one, the spark of the Universal Mind, the spark of the Divine Love. I believe that we all chosen to learn and to let others learn about love, inclusivity & diversity. I believe that love is love and that love is “God”.

I wish one day, I gain the opportunity and time to join the “wave”. Be part of the community who fight for the values I mentioned above. For now, I am happy within my shell, watching you guys creating your momentum in life.

Love, light.

Gayyyyyy/Lesbian 🙂

Hello! I’m a 17 year old girl and I’m gayyyyy but I’m
not out yet. But feel free to put this on the website! Ok into the
story. I first realized when a certain situation happened *ahem when I
was play fighting with one of my friends who was a girl and she kinda
got on top of me and just started to hold me down cuz we were sort of
wrestling. Anyways after that I freaked out and was like WHAT IS THIS
FEELING NONONO GO AWAY HORRIBLE FEELING. So I strictly was against being
attracted to girls in any fashion for a couple months and I grew up in a
homophobic Asian family where my parents would always say EW GROSS WHAT
IS THIS whenever they saw any LGBTQ+ representation on tv. And every
time my parents did that I would get a tight knot in my chest and I
would have the urge to cry. I realized that a life where I felt so
anxious around my parents, wasn’t a life that I wanted. So
eventually… I told my best friend that I was gay and I knew she would
be fine with it bc she was Bi and it was the best thing ever bc I felt a
weight being lifted off my shoulders. I am still in the process of
telling everyone around me but I’ve told my close friends and they all
were like “yeah we knew” haha. I’m still really scared of telling
my parents that I’m gay but I’ll get there soon enough 🙂 ps thank
you so much for an inspiration to me and representing the LGBTQ+
community in a way that they deserve

Queer

I knew I was apart of the community my freshman year of highschool when, no matter what I did I couldnt take my eyes off the girl who sat one seat up and to the right of me. It was something I couldn’t fight. I barely knew her aside from her name, but when she wasnt in class I noticed, when she didnt laugh at my jokes like the other 25 kids it didnt seem as funny to me anymore. I couldnt get her to laugh and I was determined and honestly I never did, what made her laugh was out teacher telling me to “leave the poor girl alone” that make her laugh.
When she smiled, I knew.
I grew up in church my entire life, and when I spent weeks thinking about her and trying to come up with jokes, I also spent weeks beating myself down and praying.
I wouldn’t come out for another year to my friends and they all accepted me and I was happy, I felt free. Two years later I was successfully making that same girl smile but now I had to grow some and ask her out. Two years later and she ended up sitting one row up to the right of me again in history class our junior year. I remember just staring at her the entire period, and then pretend I wasnt looking and blush really hard.
A year later I guess i finally said the right thing because we started to date. Yes ive been out for sometime by then, but being with her made me feel invincible. I felt comfortable walking down the streets of nyc holding my beautiful girlfriends hand still telling corny jokes.
All that would dissipate when I went home. My mom found out a year later and she hasnt seen me the same since. We’ve physically fought, she barely talks to me.
When I am home I am a shell but as soon as I am out of those four walls I am a giant of pride and happiness and alive.
Honestly the only reason I really survived it was because aside from being “home,” I get to be myself. My home is with my (still going strong) girlfriend, my amazing friends and the amazing lgbtq+ family.
Im just surviving and one day ill move out of here and then can I fully start to live my life to the fullest.

My name is Carolyn and I’m a lesbian.

CONTENT WARNING: THIS COMING OUT STORY CONTAINS DESCRIPTION AND/OR DEPRESSION.

The first time I remember being attracted to women I was 9 years old.
I hid this fact about myself and eventually married a man at 16 in 1983, our marriage was difficult for multiple reasons. In 1986 I left my marriage. I began a queer relationship with a woman I worked with, but we both kept it secretive from everyone for 3 years and it ended sadly, which broke my heart because I loved her still and she was the only person I could be myself with! I knew I wanted to be in a queer relationship again, but I didn’t know how or where to go and meet women like myself. I was still hiding my secret from my family and friends. This secret was making me sick mentally and physically to the point I ended up in a mental institution for 2 weeks from severe depression. Upon leaving the hospital I decided I would need to tell family and friends if I was going to get healthy. It did take me a month or 2 but I came out to my family members one at a time, their are 6 siblings in my immediate family, then my mother and father. All of my family except my father was wonderful about my coming out!
I eventually told everyone which was such freedom! I was in 2 short relationships that lasted 2/3 years. Then I met my soul partner Maureen Flannery and we were together for 19 years. Maureen passed away December 20th 2017 from cancer. I’m now just starting to feel the need to be in queer relationship with another woman.

Anonymous

i was standing in line at an Amanda Palmer concert, and a female presenting person in front of me made me go: oh. girl-types are pretty too. i havent looked back except to realize how much this reveals about my adolescent interactions with certain girls that i didn’t recognize because they were different than my crushes on boys.

Bi

I fell for the first girl in grade 9, had my first girlfriend last year and am in my last year of high school . I came out to my friends and then my family . Sometimes I feel like I have to choose a gender and then worry that I’m not being true to who I am . In a way , I fall for connections more than anything as it is one of the most important parts of a relationship to me (and friendship) . I thought I would have it figured out by the time I turn 18 , but I guess the universe hasn’t aligned my stars just yet (no I don’t read horoscopes 🙂 ) but I’m slowly working on it and truth be told , there is so much time to figure out who I really am and it doesn’t happen without experience and patience. I hope to help others going through the same doubts and worries. There’s always gold (or a queer) at the end of the rainbow.

My Name Is Gabi

I knew I was part of the lqbtq community when I was in fifth grade I Started to catch feelings for my girl best friend. People always Asked me “Gabi are u Bisexual” My anwser was always no I felt like no one would support a couple of months later I decided to come out to friends yes I lost some friends but it’s better to be ur self than I thought I have a huge community that supports me my friends support and love me that why I appreciate Them Soo much.

Barbara

I think I’ve always known that I am a lesbian. When I was 14 years old I already had my first girlfriend. I enthusiastically told this to my parents, who unfortunately looked at it with slightly different eyes than I did. My mother grew up in a very religious family, so my sexuality didn’t fit the picture. This caused a lot of insecurity for me, and I was bullied at school and this resulted in a period of anxiety attacks. Fortunately my parents now support me in everything. I have learned to accept myself for who I am and I AM surrounded by people who also accept me for who I am. Only when you love yourself and can be yourself can you love someone else and I have been happy with my beautiful girlfriend for 6 years now. So don’t be scared if you love another humanbeing. Just be and love yourself. You have so much to give.

I’m a small lesbean (lesbian)

ellow I’m Kai >3< and my pronouns are she/her 0w0. This is my coming out story, I wrote it at the time. I just wanted to say this joke before I forget it, I came out in the year of twenty gay teen. On Tuesday the 16th October 2018. I came out as gay to my mum. Earlier that day my mum asked if I wanted to go on a walk with her. I agreed, and I got ready. That’s when I decided to come out to her. The whole time I was dreading the moment before I told her. When I had enough courage to say what I wanted to say. Her only response was “I could already tell”. So, she already knew that I was gay. Then I came out to my soulmate, she was really the first to know, but I told her I was bisexual instead of being gay. I then told my best friend. My mum told my older sister on the 17th of October 2018. My mum also told my dad today which is the 18th. I found out that she told my dad because he mentioned my sexuality. Which at first, I was really confused on what he was talking about, until I realised that he was talking about my sexuality, that I’m gay. Everyone has been so supportive with my Decision . I don’t know if my brother knows yet, but if he doesn’t then he is the only one who doesn’t know.