Community Rainbow Waves

I am pansexual

Well I came out when I was in 3ed grade so about 9 years old and I dint quite remember haw I told everyone but I remember camping with my older sister and brother who are also bothe gay and twins. We where only 3 years apart roughly and I met this girl that I just gruled over and both hannah and alex where like giving me shit about it bc I was super close to them and we talked about everything anyway we ened up having a cheesy kiss under the slide at the park near the lake and then ran 2 my mom gushing about it and she was like WOW THATS GRATE. Then when we left she said t ok her mom this is my new BOYFRIEND and I was like I’m not a boy and she never spoke to me agen but I naw new that I didn’t cair who new. Naw some advice the bigidt risk in life is never taking any cuz then you will never know. And sorry my spelling sucks.

Small Town Girl From Kansas!

I knew I was different than my family. I had boyfriends in the past but it never last. I knew I was attractive to both men & women, I don’t label myself because it doesn’t matter about the gender. It just matter about the person. I only told a few of my close friends. And I am not out of the closet yet. My family won’t understand. And I can’t really tell them but I know my family would probably disown me. It’s kind of scary to go through this alone. I been through stuff in the past that I haven’t really got over. It’s hard to move on or overcome when you been rape in the past by two different men. I didn’t get therapy for it. It’s something that changes me even more. I am attractive to men & women but more of women. And I haven’t even been with a girl before, I don’t even know what it’s like kissing a girl. I want my story to be heard!! ~M

JuliaAKANikki

Where do I begin? I first realized that I was Queer when I was in elementary school. I always felt like I should hide it so of course that’s what I did. When I got into high school it then got real. I started crushing on the “pretty” and “popular girls. Rumors started flooding the school. Oh she’s the “gay” girl dont talk to her. She will get a crush on you. So I did what anyone else would do I denied it. When I got out of high school I started dating a guy to prove everyone wrong. To try and make myself think I was normal, what my parents expected. We dated on and off then it took a turn of abuse. I felt like I deserved it because of the feelings I was hiding. I finally came out to my mother 2 years ago at the age of 25 and I didn’t get the support I hoped for but I got what I expected would happen. It was on Christmas eve. I just came out and told her. She went into the bathroom, shut and locked the door. Slid 50 dollars under the door said Merry Christmas and I dont want you here on Christmas day. I was devastated. Over time she has come to support me. I openly dated a woman last year and I’m proud to say that it’s the most comfortable I have ever felt in my 27 year’s of life! It took time, and all sorts of emotional turmoil. But I can proudly say I’m here and I’m queer!
#OutIsTheNewIn

Lonely gay in the closest !

I think I’ve always known I preferred girls to boys from a very young age, but didn’t know I was gay until October of 2019 (I’m 16 btw) when I was around 10 I remember seeing a girl in my school who was a few years older than me and thinking “wow her boyfriend is lucky” that’s the earliest memory I have of that. Except for the obvious early signs of always wanting to be the boy when my friends and I played games, and obsessing over girl bands. When I was 12/13 I became infatuated with female celebrities, at the time I thought I just wanted to be them, but of course then I began to imagine myself being with them. But I just thought I felt that way because they were just ‘celebrity crushes’ that everyone had. I never really had any crushes on boys, but I’d pretend I did just to fit in. I’ve never kissed anyone because well I knew if I did it would have to be a boy since well no one knows I’m gay.

Now here’s the good part. I never realized that I was gay because like I said I only had crushes on celebrities…until October 2019 when I began to crush on a girl in my class. I still remember the exact moment, I had made some joke with her in class and she started to laugh, and her smile was like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I got an odd feeling in my stomach and my chest felt fluttery and I just froze. “You like her” kept repeating in my head. I went home that night and just sobbed (and I usually don’t cry) because I had realized that I was gay and didn’t want to accept it. It was so overwhelming. Well obviously a few months have passed now and I’ve tried to suppress my feelings for her (which have increased massively) but that hasn’t worked. So here I am, a 16 year old closeted gay, in love with her friend :/ yes no one knows I’m gay and I don’t know when I plan to come out. I’m really scared to but it’s people like Dom who make me feel less scared!! She has helped me massively, along with Kat and many other women. Watching them on Wynonna Earp and how normalized their relationship is really makes me feel at ease with myself, and in a sense makes me feel safe. Watching Dom, and especially reading her story makes me feel that little bit more comfortable with my TRUE self. And I’m so so thankful for that, so that’s my story I guess 🙂

Lesbian

CONTENT WARNING: THIS COMING OUT STORY CONTAINS DESCRIPTION AND/OR DISCUSSION ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT.

I came out when I was 14 years of age, 13 years ago, most of my family were accepting, though a few were not. Some still not to this day, but have been a little more accepting through the years. Shockingly for me the older generation in the family were more supportive than the younger, excluding my dad. My dad was not accepting at first, it come to the point where I didnt have any contact with my dad for over two years.. due to the fact that when I was in my late teens he actually tried to pay me to be with a boy! As you could tell that was a big no. Thankfully my dad is 100% supportive of me now and we have a great relationship. Many people ask me how I could forgive him? My reply.. whats the point in holding on to something bad, when hes sorry and I’ve had many more happy memories shared with him. I have had many struggles in life many battles I have fought, the most hardest was being told I was confused because I was sexually assaulted from the age of 12 to 14, “your not gay, your just traumatised”, i always new from a young age, the first time I kissed a girl, 9 years of age (practising) like kids did. My happest memory of coming out was actually only 2 years ago, to my great grandfather, I was always told not to say anything as he was old and wouldn’t understand, i was very close with my grampa so, when he was 93 I came out to him, he did not judge me what so ever he just told me about the time he met my great grandmother, and told me it doesn’t matter who you love, it doesn’t matter how much you fight, if you love you them don’t ever let them go . That conversation was one of the last conversations I had with him. Its a conversation that I hold dear to me and one people should listen to.

Someone who falls in love with another person, just for who they are inside.

I think I’ve always known I was queer since a young age, but growing up in a very conservative area, and being told a “man and a woman are supposed to be together” really made me squash any feelings that were perceived “not right”. I’ve always felt scared and ashamed to be my true self because growing up I was bullied severely in high school relating nothing to my sexual orientation. For things like looks, and interests. I never felt safe enough, even within my own household. I still haven’t officially come out to anyone because being completely honest I squashed this part of me for so long that it took hearing Dom’s coming out story to make me finally connect that piece Id been missing for so much of my life. I’ve always loved the idea of just two people in love, regardless of gender, and love is love. My name is Haley and I am into all people. Thank you for giving me this platform to finally say this out loud.

Gay

I realised around the age of 17 I was attracted to women. I’d always had guy friends, but never felt a physical attraction towards them like my friends had. Little did I know at the time my nickname at school Lizzy the Lezzy, after that popular Facebook page would soon be realistic. I guess gaydar really is a thing. Moving from school into college I was suddenly in a world of, “it’s okay not to be straight” and this is where I met my first girlfriend. It’s now 4 years later and although I am still learning daily about myself it’s a bloody great feeling to be out and proud. And for those that may not be in a situation to come out at the moment, or are still questioning themselves the best advice I can give is take your time and love your own skin! Self discovery is a journey, your own journey! The community has lived in darkness for too long, now it’s our turn to shine.

I am Me!

I think this has always been apart of me, ever since I was young. Looking back it was probably more obvious to those around me such as my teachers and family, watching a young girl take on mini battles against the stereotypical gender norms. I did not want to play by the rules! So I did everything in my power to not, always making sure i was on the boys team for tag at breaktime, running to join in with the boys football match in PE rather than suffer the horror that was Netball and being forced into those frilly skirts. Tomboy was an apt description at the time. I couldn’t put my finger on it but the idea of being seen as girly and weaker or more sensitive really got to me, so once again I would fight against it any time I was told to let the stronger boys pick up a heavy box I would make sure I was right at the front of the line ready to prove them wrong. Moving into High School was a horror, day 1 and it seemed I had a target etched on my back, they used everything they could against me (well, everything they could see) my height, weight and basic appearance to break me down. Then suddenly it wasn’t just what they could see, words like gay and lesbian started to be thrown around. I had never once used those words but the idea of me being attracted to another girl in my class seemed like the worst possible thing to everyone. This again is where I could have twigged something was there when all of my crushes was basically any of my female teachers under the age of 40. But still we continue to age I’m going to guess 16, when i first told someone I thought i was Bisexual, as soon as I said i regretted it, the word just didn’t sit right with me, labelling me just didn’t sit right with me. So for years I never really explored or spoke about my ‘love life’ (or lack thereof). Then moving to Uni, I was terrified to talk about it, I was scared that if people found out I wasn’t straight they would shun me (like high school). But after a 2 years and many drunken nights kissing anybody and everybody (mainly girls) it came down to the simple question of if i were to be discussing some of my antics they would simply ask boy or girl. I never thought I would be in a relationship with a girl, but at the end of uni that changed and I had my first girlfriend, it didn’t last long but it allowed me to be more comfortable with my sexuality. I never really came out to my family it turned out for them they always seems to know, by simply saying I would end up with who i ended up with they never saw a gender. Even now I still find it hard to label myself as gay or anything really. Not trying to be cliche but I am just me anything else sounds wrong, maybe one day that will change but for now that’s what I’m going for. (sorry this was long, I’ve never written it out before, kind of theraputic)
Live for who you want to be don’t listen to others or be pressured into labelling yourself or outing yourself before your ready it can be a steady journey doesn’t have to be a sudden sit down convo where you blurt it out.

Gay and proud (most of the time…)

CONTENT WARNING: THIS COMING OUT STORY CONTAINS DESCRIPTION AND/OR DISCUSSION ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT.

I always had feelings for girls, probably from the age of 9, when I really fancied a girl in S club 7, when all my friends fancied J from Five! haha.
However I went to a school where the word gay was never even mentioned, I had no idea it existed or what it was. I don’t even think it was mentioned in sex ed. I kinda just left it at the back of my mind and didn’t hook up with a girl until I was 20, when I left to go travelling to Australia and walked passed Mardi Gras, which is the most amazing pride I have ever been to. This all started up my curiosity as I realised there were soooo many people who I could relate to, and kissing a girl for the first time felt amazing.
I used to think I was Bi, I didn’t ever think that I was a lesbian as nooo that can’t be me, I’m going to have a ‘normal’ life with a husband and children, however I have never actually enjoyed being with a man. My mum still thinks and hopes I am Bi. I have been sexually abused twice by men so she thinks that I am too scared to be with men, which could be true but it kind of hurts that she doesn’t just accept that I am gay. I now know I am just full on gay and that my past trauma has nothing to do with my sexuality. I was born gay, as was my brother and my cousin. We are all out to our families and friends (my best friend always knew I was gay, coming out to her was the most fantastic experience with the love she gave me) and my brother is marrying his partner when covid allows, I am hoping to find a date for the occasion who I can eventually marry myself and also maybe children 🙂
I know I am in an amazingly privileged position as I live in a country where being gay is celebrated, not condemned. I really hope over time that these countries will make it legal to be gay, there are some charities out there helping and I am trying to raise awareness of them.

Lesbian

when i was in 7th grade i was confused why all my celebrity crushes were female. I asked my friends that was it normal to have all female crushes. They didn’t know what to say. Time went by and then i had my first non-celebrity crush. Then i did the test and it said im bisexual. But i lied to myself that i like boys too. I’ve always been attracted to girls but i didn’t realize that. So finally i was sure that I’m not straight and i told my friends that I’m bisexual. Then i started to watch Wynonna Earp and that made me realize that im into girls only. So i came out to my friends as lesbian.
It took me a very long time to come out to my family but my sister, brother and dad were supportive. only my mom was like “it will go away”. Now i have been out over a year and im very happy and proud to be a lesbian.