Community Rainbow Waves

Im Alex and im a queer 20 years old nonbinary guy from Argentina who uses he/they pronouns and wants to be fully himself once and for all.

I accepted that I was queer for the first time at 15 years old when I came out as lesbian, but really I have known that I like girls since I was 5 years old, tho It was super hard for me to accept as the world around me acted like LGBTQ+ people didnt even exist. It didint help that I was attending a very religious boarding school either. I thougth being queer was wrong, and when I came out to my friends and family everyone said to me they would love me in spite of me being who I was, witch didnt make things easier for me, it was as if being me was something bad that everyone was going to ignore to be able to love me anyways. At 16 I started to question mi gender identity, something that its still hard for me to acept. Knowing your self and discovering yoursefl is something extremely dificult, even more with the little nonbinary representation and all the jugdment that comes with being transgender, spetially in the nonbinary spectrum. I came out to my friends last year, felling like I couldnt keep it for myself any longer, felling the need for them to treat me like me, instead of like what I look like on the outside. The fear of what my family migth think is holding me back from speaking my truth, but Dom an everyone in the Start the Wave organization are inspiring me so much to speak up and be my most autentic self, to be true tu how I am, and share that with everyone, with the people I love, and to hopefuly inspire others to do so. So I want to thak all of you, I want to thank Dom and everone on Start the Wave, for helping and inspiring so many people, so much more than you could ever realize. I truly hope we can keep on creating a more loving and accepting world, and inspiring people to be they true self, and to shine brigth with every color of their soul.
(Also im truly sorry for any spelling error).
With so much love and gratitude in my heart, sending you all the suport and love I posibly can,
-Alex.

OneMoreDropInThisGorgousSea

Firstly pardon my english, I’m actually brasilian.
We all want answers. When we are kids almost EVERYTHING amazes us, and when we grow up, our questions gets more and more complex and complicated…

But Well… I KNOW Love is not one of them. I felt it before.

When It gets complicated, then it’s not love, cause Love transforms a messy knot into a beautifull colorfull line (like a rainbow haha)

Love is understandingfull. Love is kind. And love is not just a feeling itself… It is a way to see the world, and the lackness of it, in some moments, disconect us from the BEST within us.
If you don’t believe me just remember that everything we make with loving, end up beautifull, colorfull, organized (just look at the sky at night), sweet… like a gentle breeze sliding through every strand of hair…

Love is not only about ourselves, but about others too, cause we can donate from us this beautiful energy. By admiring someone, by giving importance to that person,
by touching and being touched by everything that ever happened to that person.
But also love is NOT the absence of pain! Love is a way of living that allow us to be STRONG when pain comes, and not being complainfull about it…
there is actually a spoiled side of us to think that EVERYTHING is ALWAYS destined to end up well… (and by “well” I meant the way we WANT it to end up) Cause It won’t. Which is good, cause pain help us grow. If pain make you feel more scared, then you’re not loving.
I KNOW everything has a purpose. Nature shows us EVERYTHING has a purpose. Sometimes we just don’t know what for.
I do care about LGBT comunity, cause it is important to talk about LOVE diversity. There is many many ways to get to this sea.

As I discovered those paths I realized few important things… You don’t NEED to change everything you are because you realized something new about yourself, but if you WANT TO, then so be it: Change!
But Change for better! Use comprehension, not hate. Otherwise isn’t it hipocrisy to fight hate and exclusion with hating and exclusion?
Does EVERYTHING has to evolve through pain? Does peace has to arrive through battle wounds? Can’t we just KNOW it by heart?
It doesn’t mean we should trust everyone, It is DUMB. It means we should always hope for the better of someone, as much as we hope for ourselves.
But remember… you are still you! With new improves haha. Don’t you EVER forget who you are. What you truly believe. What you really want. And most importantly don’t you ever forget about love. And if there is no love, then you shouldn’t content yourself with less!

And I guess that’s my flag. I don’t know, but ONE DAY, I’ll be strong enough to make people around me feel like this: powerfull, bold, strong, important, seen and happy.
I am nobody. But a nobody with a lot in my mind, I guess…

Aaaaand that’s how I came out.

I am Me who feels like a He but to you I’m a She.

As a child growing up in a small city in NE TX, I didnt know i was different until puberty hit and my natural instinct was an attraction to girls. I had always seen myself as a little boy. So it wasn’t until junior high when I heard someone said I was a lesbian. Didn’t know what that was but I knew it wasn’t me.

Met my first gay people at the local college. We took a trip 70 miles away to a gay bar. I was comfortable there being able to be open and out. But I still didn’t fit. Even though I saw very nice looking women with some very butch women, I knew I was still different from these people. I was different because I wasn’t gay and I wasn’t a lesbian. Inside, I was a straight man and that kept me from blending in.

Do you know what it’s like to fall for a girl, a straight girl, and the only thing preventing her from reciprocating your feelings is that you aren’t a guy? Ok, some of you do, but it was hell. I suffered depression and anxiety all of my life because I wasn’t a guy. What I saw in my mirror was not what other people saw.

I adapted mostly, but I finally realized this is who I am and I can’t change it. Well, I could if I was loaded with money. So I accepted I was transgender, butch, gay, queer…anything but lesbian. When people assumed I was gay, then I was gay. But then I found myself explaining why I wasn’t a lesbian. Because a lesbian is a woman who enjoys being a woman and is attracted to other women sexually. On the box where you check your sexual orientation I just wanted one that said, IT’S COMPLICATED.

I’m so glad that we have achieved milestones since those childhood years of mine over 60 years ago.
Being different from mainstream heterosexuals is still never easy but knowing the majority of the population supports us makes it so much easier to be me….and you…and her and him and them.

In the 80s, a wide variety of musicians and artists along with Michael Jackson, made a music video.

We are the world, we are the future.

That future they talked about is us. You and me.
For now, we are free.
I am just me.

Stay loud, stay proud.

Hoping to help others 1 tweet at a time LGBTQ or str8lzzzz?

I knew I was gay in 5th grade. Now my story is twisted with antiquated thinking by others and trying to be myself. The town I grew up in has a total of 368 ppl today..so very small not even a stop light. There was 0 representation back in 1990 when I graduated so I am old l had no clue where to find another lesbian. No clue there were bars for my own kind. It did feel lonely. Hard to believe I found an ad in the back of a Rolling Stone magazine and that is how I met my first gf. We lived 4.5 hrs apart and lots of road trips. Back then we had to write real letters and put them thru the mail lol. Well one weekend we were out on a date and when I got home I got stormed by my mother. She said “how long has this affair been going on?” Now me and I will say I am a complete a$$hat I turn to her and said “she’s not married so its not an affair” She didn’t think it was funny. My mother went into my room, dug through my dresser drawers found all my letters, plus told my whole family I was gay before I could come out. I was kicked out of the house with nowhere to go luckily my sister let me stay with her but I had to deal with my parents being ashamed of me and my sister being paranoid of my gf. My mother still reminds me I am going to hell and it makes me mad to no end. I thought I had real love gonna settle down marry when it was legal kinda thing but after 11 yrs she said she didn’t love me. I came out to a few ppl after my mother outed me and it was exhilarating. A weight off my shoulders. I felt free. Thru the years I’ve had to push my way thru head high never back down made fun of by family but I keep going never apologizing for who I am. After gf number 3 and my being with a str8 girl, I am alone. At my age sometimes its good to just be nothing. I don’t feel like a girl I don’t feel like a guy. My self esteem gets in my way of looking for another woman. I spare you a lot of details that were unpleasant plus I feel I’ve taken up too much room. My Twitter is WickedEyes22 to check out some if my earlier content but its full of plus that. It has gotten better for the younger generation now but ppl like me have been pushing against the world for quite awhile. The fight for equality is constantly changing. Someday it wont matter who you bring home for the holidays..

Love Conquers ALL

I was quite young when I started to realise that I didn’t love in the same way as my friends or most of the people around me. Growing up I had never really felt like I fit in – there always felt like there was something, perhaps a part of me, that was missing or undiscovered.

When I was around 13 years old, thanks to social media and other resources that exposed me to a whole community of kind, loving and accepting people, I started to view myself and the feelings I felt differently. At first, I was absolutely petrified of who I was; one of the memories I remember most was lying in my bed crying and whispering to myself over and over again ‘I’m not gay, I don’t like girls.’

Thankfully, I came to the realisation that it was okay to like girls and to be gay. In June 2016, I came out to my friends on Twitter as bisexual. I stuck with this label for almost two years because it felt ‘okay’. I still felt like it wasn’t correct but it sure as hell felt a lot better than trying to convince myself that I was straight.

The first time I came out to somebody in my ‘real life’ was in April 2018. She was one of my best friends and we were out at a park doing a photo shoot for one of my photography projects. We ended up staying on the park swings for about 3 hours, just talking about sexuality and my experience and such. This was the first time that I had said that I didn’t actually know what I wanted to label myself as, I just knew that I liked girls (and that I liked them a lot more than boys).

In June 2018, exactly 2 years after I first came out on Twitter as bi, I came out again, but this time as a lesbian. It was one of the most freeing feelings I have ever felt because, FINALLY, I could identify as something that made me feel authentic and true to myself. It took me a while to feel fully comfortable with the label because of the bad rap the label is given as it is fetishised by the porn industry. But today I can easily, and happily, announce that I am a lesbian and that I am proud of that.

Throughout the 2 years since coming out to my friend in 2018, I have come out to so many more people. Old friends from secondary school (actually, most of my whole year group from secondary school through a post to my Instagram Story) and new friends from sixth form.

But the most recent person that I came out to is the one that makes me proudest. In February of this year (2020), I came out to my older sister. I couldn’t say the words out loud so I just sent her a link to a YouTube video of a ‘coming out’ song that somebody had made for this particular situation. I sobbed and she held me close when we hugged. She told me that she loved me and that she didn’t care who I loved. I can’t remember if she said so or not, but I know that she is proud of me.

The only other family member that knows is one of my cousins of the same age but I know that one day I will be able to fully be myself in front of all of my family and that this is only the beginning.

As part of the LGBTQ+ community, we are always coming out. Whether 2 days down the line or 10 years. Even so, the feeling of relief and joy that we experience when we tell somebody who accepts it without question is something that I will never forget or take for granted.

As I said at the start; I don’t love in the same way as my friends or a lot of the people around me. But that’s okay because love is complex and it comes in so many different forms. And every single one of them is beautiful. Because love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love.

I finally feel like I fit in somewhere. I have finally found the missing jigsaw pieces that make me, ME.

I am a lesbian, I love girls.
But, most importantly, I am ME.

-Lily

#Loveislove #LoveConquersALL

I am a bisexual female.

I think I knew in 7th grade. There was a girl named Sarah that I thought was pretty but I was drawn to her in a way I couldn’t fully explain. Looking back now I definitely liked her and wanted to be with her. There have been plenty of times since then where I’ve questioned whether I was a lesbian or not. I still struggle with that at times, especially because I think, maybe even more-so than any other identification, bisexual is the most often considered a “phase” so it’s been extremely hard ein okay living in that so-called “phase” space. I am truly and completely attracted to both women and men, but I wouldn’t identify as pansexual either. I am 100% about people being comfortable in their own skin, I just don’t find myself romantically drawn to transgender people. Coming out to my friends was easy because I surround myself with loving and accepting people. But my parents to this day still do not know.

Noah, just a boy in a world who doesn’t see him as such

My whole life I’ve known I wasn’t like all the other girls I was friends with, everyday I felt as though there was something in the back of my mind telling me something was off. From a young age, I had always been more of a masculine person, and while yes, any gender can be masculine, I don’t think most little girls wanted to be a boy, be seen as a boy, as badly as I did. But the fact was that I had not been armed with the words that I could’ve used to express myself just yet, living in a religious and very conservative home does that sometimes.

So, when I was about 11 or 12, I met a friend of mine who identified as a lesbian, a word I wasn’t familar with and part of a world I had yet to discover. With her by my side, we figured that world out together, and from that point on, I identified as a lesbian, or as gay rather, because I hated that word for what I now realize was me hating the femininity that goes along with it, while gay was more gender neutral. But back then, I simply didn’t use that word for reasons I didn’t know.

Fast forward to my freshman year of high school, the year I was the most depressed and anxious I had ever been. I was so numb and tired all the time that I was even distancing myself from friends who had been supporting me my whole life. But then I figured out why. It was because I was unhappy with how I look, how I sound, how tall I am, all of that and it was eating away at me.

Before I knew it, I was watching a YouTuber named MilesMcKenna, a trans FtM youtuber who shared stories of his experiences as a trans man and his transition and… I had never felt more at home. I thought about what it would be like to transition into a guy both medically and socially and I smiled a real smile for the first time in a while. And that’s when I knew I wasn’t a girl, I was and have always been a boy who didn’t have the language to put to how I felt, but now I do.

I am Noah. I am trans FtM and I’m proud of who I am, even if only a handful of people in my life know right now. What matters is that I know, what matters is I’m truly, finally, happy.

ANONYMOUS

Ever since I started high school right through near to the end I never came to terms that I liked girls I tried to push it away and not think about it because I was scared of what others thought about me. In this society many people don’t agree with LGBT+Q and I’ve seen how people are some people are loving and accepting but some aren’t which we don’t have the power to change their minds everyone has the own opinions. But back to coming out I always liked this girl and her smile was just wow I was speechless. I didn’t want people knowing about me being bisexual so because these feeling became so strong for her I distanced my self from her so I’d stop loving her but because I did that they became even more powerful all I ever thought about was her. I came out not long ago and all my family and friends are accepting well the ones I told. But since coming I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been less anxiety and the girl I always had a crush on isn’t just my best friend but my girlfriend now and I’m proud to call her that , I’m proud to walk down the street and hold her hand , kiss and hug her and gives her compliments without caring what others think. This is me and I’m proud of it my confidence was never the best but now it is thanks to thinking more positive and for people being accepting and showing me it’s ok because it is ok to be you.

I would love to identify myself as questioning for now while I’m learning more and more about the LGBTQ+ community.

I’ve always wanted someone to talk to and I would say that this is my therapist right now. I haven’t exactly fully come out yet but I came out to some of my friends and my mom. I feel really weird in this place right now because no one really quite understands me and I never REALLY talked with someone about this. I first started to identify myself starting middle school. I saw this beautiful girl hanging out with me and my friends. The more she stuck around the deeper I fell in love but unfortunately she has a boyfriend. I respected her and her boyfriend so I just still became the same. I’ve never felt like this before so I wanted someone to help me but there was really never no one at the time. I have always been hiding every single detail out and been left as mysterious and quiet. No one REALLY knows me until they get me. I hope that one person I need right comes into my life. I honestly wish I had an epic coming out story but I don’t! It’s ok I guess and so I wouldn’t really call it a coming out story. The way I came out to my mom was wrong. I was talking to some friends on Instagram which I was not suppose to have but I was a wee rebel then so I did it. I told them that I love girls the way that I’m supposed to feel about boys and they were supportive but couldn’t tell them the story quite right. I clicked on one of my friend’s live and left my room with the live on to check on my dogs outside. My mom grabbed it and asked me why I have it and I said because I wanted to and not the way you think I said it but yeah. She was reading my dms which I should’ve deleted but didn’t and she kept hinting me that she’ll always love me no matter who I am and I was like ok? And I kinda got the clue but it was too awkward at the time to talk about it. And the most iconic coming out stories happen in the car ride, … no I’m just kidding but this is where she asked me who I identify myself as and at the time I said bisexual but as I grew older I keep questioning it so now I identify myself as that. She asked me when did I know and I told her when I got jealous of a boyfriend from the girl I really liked and I left it at that which was just utter awkwardness and I felt uncomfortable when I should have felt comfortable. I don’t want to feel shamed for I who I am and I don’t want to feel guilty of something so “wrong” and so I hid it. The worst part of that is that when someone uses “gay” as an insult to me I say “no I’m not!” But like in a defensive way which made me feel ashamed of who I truly am on the inside. I never want to feel that way. I want to feel free and expressive. You know, everytime my friends mention the word “boyfriend” I get uncomfortable and fade away into my own world which is something really good. I always feel left out of conversations like that because they think I really have no relationship advice. They go to other people instead of the person in front of them, me. I am an introvert, shy person and I can’t even stand up for myself so I think of myself as weak. I just really want to be sure of who I am you know like to be proud of my identity to what makes me, me. I truly know that this community will make me strong and bold enough to know who I am. I give myself to this beautiful community and truly trust myself that I will know who I am, even if it takes thousands of years.

Simply me, Giulia

So, here I am. It took a while to write because english is not my mother language, i’m italian. My name is Giulia and I came out many years ago when was not so easy. I mean, is not easy at all, but in a small city of a Catholic country, believe me, it’s hard, most of all if your father is a public officer known in the city.
At that time I was living my dream with the only girl, till now, I really loved with all my heart and my senses. I was young, 24, thinking that I was living was really special; I never thought that something was wrong till the first and dramatic fight I had with my relatives.
That reaction scared me a lot because my thought was : if my father and my mother react in this way, what can I expect from strangers ? So I totally close in my self. I was still sure that what was going on was not wrong, but I was not able to talk with anyone and when the story ended I was totally alone. I could not show my pain because I did not know how to justify it.
I spend many years alone but during these years I started to open my self with friend. At the beginning was a total state of anxiety talking about being gay, but as soon as I talked with my dear friends, I noticed that for them it was normal, no problems at all. I was shocked about that!
Many years later I took again the argument with my relatives, they love me, they always have, but they were unprepared at that time, they were scared for me and was hard for them to manage it.
I told my father only one thing, when he apologized (btw he didn’t need to do it) : I was happy and you didn’t notice that.
Ya, that’s the point, being happy , being happy of what you are and who you love. I truly think that if we all together show our happiness, our consciousness, our strenght, that day in which you do not need to say Yep, I’m gay, is near. I’m a human being, a precious one, like all of us, I’m a lover and I don’t need to be identify in a scheme.
That’s me, Giulia, from Italy!