Our shop will be on a break between January 4th – January 23rd. All orders placed between these dates will be processed on our return. Thank you!

Community Rainbow Waves

Out Is The New In​

TRIGGER WARNING: Some of the posts on this page may contain sensitive or potentially triggering content. Start the Wave has tried to identify these posts and place individual trigger warnings on them. 

 

Should you come across any content that needs further review, please contact us through the Contact Us page.

Lesbian badass

Ever since I knew how to speak, I’ve always been drawn to females and never really to males? I didn’t grow up with a lot of representation so the word lesbian wasn’t very common. Gay was a big word growing up for me however, it was used in very negative connotations and that’s what started the repression part of my sexuality. I repressed it and thought it would just go away, I prayed for hours, I tried everything to make it go away and it wouldn’t. Until one lucky fateful day. Wynnona Earp. Season 1 episode 09. Bury Me With My Guns. One of the first LGBTQ+ couples I’d seen in the media. I was immediately struck. The show helped me realise that what I was wasn’t something bad. It was something beautiful. I was never truly able to accept myself at all before that. And after I told a few friends about it, I realised, I wasn’t alone. The majority of my friends experienced similar things, whether it be gender or sexuality. So I thank Emily Andras from the bottom of my heart for allowing such beautiful representation, and such accurate representation to find its way onto my (cracked-but-still-working) screen. 😀

Cheezylezbian87

I first Had an inclination my freshman year of college, when I began to have feelings for my best friend(10/06). I kept my feelings hidden for fear of rejection. I became involved years later, (10/11), with a girl and fell in love for the first time, I knew then who I was. I came out to close friends and family shortly afterwards. The best of them had known about my sexuality for years, so it was nice and easy. It has taken a couple of relationships for me to fully embrace myself. I’m very happy and proud of who I am.

Naney

Aquí vamos, siempre supe que me atraían tanto las mujeres como hombres, es decir si siento algo por una persona no me detengo a pensar en el género, eso sobra, pero igual me percate que tengo tendencia mas hacia las mujeres, que como lo supe? desde que tengo uso de razón incluso en las películas de dibujos animados me atraían mas las mujeres jaja chusco pero cierto, en algún punto de mi adolescencia me dije a mi misma que no quería ocultarme al menos no con mis padres, cuando tenia 15 años decidí dar el paso y hablar con ambos aunque lo hice por separado, gracias al universo por la familia que tengo pues no todo es color de rosa, mis padres me aceptaron y me hicieron saber que no era ninguna enfermedad y que lo que sea que me hiciera feliz, a ellos por ende igual los haría felices, a veces pienso que a pesar de que ya pasaron 15 años desde que me abrí a mi realidad aun mi mamá siente algún tipo de aversión, nunca me lo ha dicho pero tal vez sigue en el camino de la aceptación, mi papá es un sol e incluso tengo la confianza de hablar con el de las chicas, como dije he tenido algún novio hombre pero mi familia sabe que es mas probable que llegue con alguna chica, y como también lo dije no todo fue lindo pues, a pesar de que mis padres me dieron su total apoyo desde el principio, mi hermana con la que he convivido más, al principio me hizo ver una realidad muy cruel llena de humillaciones y de asco por el solo hecho de que a yo no veía la vida de la misma forma en la que ella quería que la viera, eso ya fue, al pasar de los años lo comprendió e incluso es una buena confidente cuando llego a necesitar sus consejos, recién me pregunto un compañero de trabajo que soy? Entonces me quede pensando, es acaso obligatorio que llevemos una tarjeta de presentación indicando si nos gusta una cosa u otra? Porque a pesar de que sé que no tenia ninguna obligación de contestarle incluso me sentí intimidada al punto de pensar si mentiría en mi respuesta solo por seguir siendo parte de una sociedad a veces inclusiva, otras no tanto o depende de la conveniencia según se dé? No esta no soy yo, ya han pasado 15 años como decía, que salí a ser yo misma sin miedos, sigue siendo difícil sin ninguna duda a pesar del tiempo que ha pasado el pensar en la señalización de la gente, pero siempre que algo trata de detenerme sé que tengo a mi familia de mi lado siempre apoyándome y ahora aun mas bendecida, los tengo a ustedes que igual se que de ahora en adelante siempre contaré con esta hermosa comunidad dispuesta a brindar solo amor sin juzgar quien soy o como me veo, entiendo mucho y admiro de sobremanera a Dom porque al abrirse ella comentó la parte de esos miedos de no encajar o ser juzgado, cariño, aquí tienes una legión dispuesta a respaldarte y deberías saber que de la misma forma en que tu nos has llenado de amor, de bondad, de gratitud y demás hermosos sentimientos, nosotros lo haremos de vuelta a ti, eres la persona mas hermosa, valiente llena de convicción y entereza que conozco, ese amor desinteresado que tienes por la vida, por el ecosistema, por nosotros, siempre te será multiplicado, comienza a disfrutar esta hermosa vida que tienes por delante ya sin ataduras, que a pesar de las adversidades, no hay placer más bello que vivir tu vida plena y libre, todos te amamos y siempre vamos a estar aquí para ti y para quien sea que lo necesite con el amor que nos has enseñado a repartir a los demás.

I am SwatKat. I am a lesbian. A proud one, I must add.

I am from India. I was about 13 or 14yrs old, when I had my first real crush on my school teacher. I grew up very tomboyish and I always knew in the back of my mind that I was a bit different from the girls that were around me. When I realized that I was developing feelings for my school teacher, it was soo overwhelming but I wasn’t fighting the feeling. I accepted and told myself that “I always knew that I am different. Now, I get to be very unique from others. Probably, the only one feeling this way in the whole world.” I didn’t know anything about LGBTQ community because of the country I am in.
I never hid my craziness for that particular teacher in my school. All of my schoolmates knew how much I liked that teacher and even the teacher knew it. But I wasn’t treated badly or anything. I guess, I got lucky for a while or they dismissed me as I was a teen kid.
When I reached 18yrs, things got real. I watched Friends and saw Carol and Susan being lesbians on-screen. I was soo relieved to see that lesbian is the term and I never knew it was a real word. I searched for the word and came across so many articles and news regarding LGBTQ community and TV shows even.
My fear to live in India started peeking. There was a girl in my school who confessed that she was having feelings for me. I was very pleased and saw how brave she was, telling her feelings to me. She and I started a relationship that went on for 7years while we both were in the closet. Unfortunately, we had to split up as neither of our parents would accept and its India. Section 377 was imposed that criminalizes homosexuality. I suppressed my real feelings and hid myself in the closet. That break up tore me down as I was all alone and couldn’t talk about it to anyone. I shutdown myself. To the people in my life, all they witnessed is “Two best friends stopped talking to eachother.” But I couldn’t say who I was to her – to anyone. The society sucks!
Then one day, I went so far away from my home and texted to my loving elder sister that I wanted to talk to her about something. I was crying so much because I was about to type the truth about myself. Couldn’t stop the tears nor wanting to hold back.
I wrote to my Sister – “I don’t think I am straight.”
She replied, “What do you mean – you don’t think?”
I said, “I mean, I am not straight.”
She replied, “Okay. I know. Where are you now?”
I said, “You know?”
She replied, “Ofcourse. I have been around you and I know. I am here to support you. Also, I knew the moment you left Beckett (Castle) and ran towards Rizzoli (Rizzloi & Isles).”
This moment with my Sister made me laugh so much and at the same time, I felt like my walls are falling. She has always been a huge support for me since 2015. I am still not completely out. But I hid myself and my lifestyle till 2014.
The helpless feeling where I would get panic attacks thinking if I have to live this life in a closet forever. Those feelings pushed me to come out and I am so grateful that I did.
India is still not a better place in terms of love. I came out to my important people and majority just said “We know.” There I was shocked that they already knew and they were talking to me as always.

I guess my fear made me a prisoner for a long long time. But I still tear up when I confess that I am a lesbian. The shivers will be there for a longer time?
Now, I have people whom I made friends with because of TV series like “Rizzoli & Isles, Wynonna earp and Lost Girl”, a huge LGBTQ fanbase via Facebook. They are my family now. I am thankful to everyone in my life.

One particular person in my life. She is my best friend, my family. We are online friends for 6yrs now and we met through the Rizzoli & Isles Facebook Fanpage. I haven’t met her in person yet but she makes me and my life soo much better. She belongs to LGBTQ as well.
I have 9 close friends, who are from different parts of the world belonging to LGBTQ community – 2 wonderful ladies from United Kingdom, 1 wonderful woman from Denmark (The one who suggested that I should watch Wynonna Earp), 1 wonderful woman from Australia, 1 wonderful woman from Sweden, 1 wonderful woman from Lebanon, 2 wonderful ladies from Germany and 1 wonderful woman from Belgium.

I believe in kindness and love! #LoveIsLove

Free proud lesbian woman

I realized I was gay at a very young age I have my brother to thank for that because he was the first to realize who I truly was. I had my first girl crush when I was 12 my brother helped me build up the courage to tell her even though she didn’t feel the same we continued our friendship til this day I thank my brother because without his help I probably would not have came out I can honestly say my family supported me from day one and loved me for who I am…

Queer woman who tip toed out 20 years ago

The summer before my freshman year of college I lifeguarded at a hotel pool in MD. One night, I was working late because my boyfriend’s band had a show out of town. Toward the end of the night this women’s basketball team from Boston came down to hang out in the hot tub and we all ended up chatting bc they were all around the same age as me. We ended up getting along really well, especially this one girl, Vicki.
Long story short, the team went back to Boston and Vicki and I kept in constant contact over the next several months. We both moved into school and decided we wanted to see each other again, so I booked a flight to go visit her in November. Even though I had a boyfriend, I thought maybe I started to develop feelings for her. I was confused, but I figured my trip would clarify things. By the time I got there, she ended up having a girlfriend so I got no answers.
When I got back to school in Pittsburgh, I felt worse than before I left for Boston. I went through a very deep depression. I stopped eating, I never slept, I felt like I was just going through the motions bc my head was always consumed by what was happening in my heart. I still was very attracted to men and didn’t know anyone like me bc this was 2000 and things were A LOT different 20 years ago. All I could think about was “why am I different” and “what did I do to deserve this”. Finally, my cousin who worked at my school, saw how badly I was struggling and she addressed me about it one night by coming out to me. It was the first person I knew who was actually gay. It was a kind of solace, but I still didn’t know who I was or what I was.
Fast forward a couple months and I had grown close to one of my cousin’s friends but she was in a relationship. One night I was staying at my cousin’s house she had a “surprise” for me and turned out that this girl had feelings for me, broke up with her gf, and was on her way here. We ended up kissing the night (my first time kissing a woman) and it was like fireworks. I knew at that point, I was going to have to address these feelings.
After that, I met and started dating a woman and slowly started telling my teammates and close friends. At school in Pittsburgh I felt free to be myself, but when I went back to MD that summer to be with my family, I got sucked right back into the closet. I wasn’t comfortable talking to my Catholic family about it bc I knew they wouldn’t understand.
One day, my mom walked in on my “laying” down with a woman and she flipped out. My mom was eventually “ok” but didn’t want me telling anyone else.
It took quite a while but now, I am 38 years old, married to a woman and have 3 children. I am fully out, confident in my queerness, and happy!

Ana

Hii, so, what a beautiful place to be in sharing just a little bit of my story. 🙂 I won’t take too long, I wanted this to be short but truthful. Just like Dom reiterated with her story. Well, yeah, I’m queer too I guess. I never knew this about me, and maybe when I was younger I did shove it in the little dark corners of my heart. But I won’t anymore. I started to question the heteronormative narrative about my sexuality when I started to think too much about a girl I met unpretentiously when I was 18 years old. What I keep asking myself is if I had felt this way before, but I just didn’t recognise this when I was younger, and only now I do. What helped me see this in a better light was a friend of mine (my best friend now) and she had already been dating a girl for 6 years, and they themselves overcame some pretty rough things. Still, till this day I can’t really help but feel disgusted by what they’ve gone through. But anyways, this ain’t about them. It’s about me. And when it comes to it, THIS is all that matters, guys. After starting to feel things for girls, crushing really really hard on them, I kept asking OTHER PEOPLE for their opinion. Well, now I know better. They did help me A LOT, but at the end of the day I think what matters is that yes I don’t like only boys, I like girls too.
I don’t really feel the need to come out in a huge fashion, I think people suspect this of me, and I have been bugging everyone about Kat and Dom, and Melissa, and Katie and Kristen Stewart, and Caity and Jess and a loot of actresses, so there’s that as well. But I hope people won’t give me too much of a hard time once I start dating, if it’s a girl and not a boy. I lke to think that they won’t. I will nevertheless still love them even if they don’t understand, I guess for some reason we should be understanding. Fight like hell to end LGBTQIA+fobia, but be understanding, as well.
Thanks for reading.

35yo, gay and still on the journey

I live in Poland – country where we have „LGBT free zones” in over 100 regions/cities/counties (almost 60 of them enacted „resolutions against LGBT ideology”), where president said „LGBT are not people, it is an ideolgy”, where important people from catholic church said (after Pride Parade) that people have to clean up the streets after rainbow plague, where some politician said that LGBT are not like normal people, where children’s ombudsman said that sex educators give children at schools “gender-changing” pills.
So it is not verry happy place to live.
If I was a teenager nowadays I would know I’m gay somewhere between 12 and 14. But I was a teenager in late ’90s and I didn’t know that being gay even exists. It was 2009 when I saw gay women on TV (or in the Internet to be specific) for the first time in Grey’s Anatomy. At that time I was 23 and in collage. Shortly after that I found The L Word and was like “oooh, this is a real thing”. I was in a long distance relationship with a man and was going to move with him to the big city. I was dreaming Jenny’s story was mine – I’ll move and I’ll meet a girl of my life. Reality was I moved and didn’t met any girl. I had a hard time accepting my sexuality. I still was in a relationship. I had severe depression. I went through different stages – “I have to stay with this guy because it is not normal to be with a woman”,“I can’t be with him but I will be alone for the rest of my life”, “I don’t want to be with him, but I don’t want to be alone eighter”. And finally my minds reached the point where I was thinking “you can’t be with him because it is unfair to him and to you, I don’t know what is waitng for you around the corner but you will be okay”.
We broke up and I moved back to my hometown.
It was 2012, I was 26 and feeling completely lost in life. I moved back with my family and started a new job.
Same year I came out to my best friend. Or I was forced to come out to her. She had some doubts, she tought she is “not safe” with me and I had to answer like a billion questions. But she came around very quickly. A month later I decided to come out to my other best friend and she was wonderful.
Today I’m 35. Unfortunately I still live with my family. And my family is conservative, catholic, huge supporter of polish government and homophobic. My mother uses the F word referring to gay guys (she doesn’t know any bad words for lesbians).
For years I was school psychologist and now I’m a vice principal in public high school. Our school is great. We have a lot of LGBTQ+ students. There are more and more every year because the word that we have very supportive environment is spreading. We always react if they are bullied (but those situation are very very rare). LGBTQ+ students are safe in our school, they can be out, they can hold hands in the hallways, they can go to the prom with their partners, they are stars in school theater and choir, we had outed gay student as the student body president. Unfortunately all those situations are not very common in polish public education system.
I always wanted to be the kind of teacher I was looking for as a teenager – kind, supportive, not being right all the time, respectful, ready to listen and not judge. For obvious reasons a have a soft spot for LGBTQ+ students. Since I’m not out and can’t lead by example I consider my support for them as my contribution to LGBTQ+ community.
I know I still am on a journey. I’m out to my little world but I’m not ready to come out to the big world out there. I don’t think I would ever be. I’m afraid of losing my job (because of the system not the people in my workplace) and roof over my head.
I don’t get support from my family but I’m lucky because there are some amazing people around me. They are my chosen family. I feel safe around them and celebrated by them and they love me. The real me. And I love them back 🙂

P.S. Dear beautiful people please remember if your family doesn’t choose to support you, you can choose your own family.
P.S.2 I was writing my rainbow wave for a few days now reading it over and over again. It is the first time I’ve seen how far I got and honestly I feel weirdly hopeful (it is not the feeling that I’m used to).

I’m a small lesbean (lesbian)

ellow I’m Kai >3< and my pronouns are she/her 0w0. This is my coming out story, I wrote it at the time. I just wanted to say this joke before I forget it, I came out in the year of twenty gay teen. On Tuesday the 16th October 2018. I came out as gay to my mum. Earlier that day my mum asked if I wanted to go on a walk with her. I agreed, and I got ready. That’s when I decided to come out to her. The whole time I was dreading the moment before I told her. When I had enough courage to say what I wanted to say. Her only response was “I could already tell”. So, she already knew that I was gay. Then I came out to my soulmate, she was really the first to know, but I told her I was bisexual instead of being gay. I then told my best friend. My mum told my older sister on the 17th of October 2018. My mum also told my dad today which is the 18th. I found out that she told my dad because he mentioned my sexuality. Which at first, I was really confused on what he was talking about, until I realised that he was talking about my sexuality, that I’m gay. Everyone has been so supportive with my Decision . I don’t know if my brother knows yet, but if he doesn’t then he is the only one who doesn’t know.

Im just me, and I like it that way. Most of the time, anyway

I think, deep down I’ve always known. I’ve always been into the other stuff. Growing up, it was never the boys that I liked or looked up to. It was always the girls. And now, looking back. It kind of makes sense. How I always preferred Clary over Jace, and Isabelle over Simon. Although I’ve always loved Alec, but let’s face it. Who doesn’t? It’s always been Hermione, not Ron or Harry.

Only recently, I’ve come to see that, sometimes, yes, I do like boys, as well. Which came as a shock to me, because I’ve been out for close to three years now. But, my friends are the best. And when I told them I wasn’t entirely sure that I was “just” gay, all they said was that labels suck anyways and that they find them quite annoying and they themselves had struggled with that for quite some time. And I totally agree with that.

I don’t like labels. I think they suck. At least, I haven’t found one that fits. I’m just me. And I’m going to live whoever I’m going to love. And I’m going to be whoever it is that I’m going to be. Already am. And it’s great.