Community Rainbow Waves

Robbie

I probably first realised that I was queer when I was about twelve years old but I wasn’t quite aware of it. I was just aware of the fact that I felt different. Then when I was around 14 I met some people who really changed my life and I think they honestly saved my life. They helped me realise myself not by doing anything specific but by just being themselves and embracing me. They helped me be open even when I was so scared. I went to my first ever pride (Exmouth pride in Devon) with them and I was so utterly scared that someone I knew from outside that group of friends might see me but they helped me to enjoy myself and it’ll always be such a treasured memory of mine. The first person I came out to that wasn’t also part of the lgbt+ community was one of my best mates when we were 16 and I can say that it thankfully went unbelievably well. Since then I’ve come out to a lot more people then I ever thought I would at this point in my life. It’s thanks to such incredible representation in the media such as wayhaught that have helped me come to terms with who I am and I can finally feel comfortable with who I am and who I love. It’s a process and I’m still learning, about myself as I tell more and more people. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be heading to university feeling happy and content if it weren’t for people like you Dominique Who have such courage to stand up and be themselves so to you and everyone in the lgbt+ community I say thank you and to those still struggling, it gets better I promise, so much better.

I am a lesbian girl

I think I always knew I was different but only figured out how ‘different’ at about 10 years old. I found myself looking at girls. It gave me this weird feeling like I shouldn’t be looking at girls I like boys! So I did everything to supress those feelings and started talking with boys from my class. I got into an relationship with a guy from my class and thought that’s what it’s supposed to be. Then one day we went to his house to hang out and he wanted to make a YouTube video titled girlfriend Q&A. We looked up some questions on the internet and then one came across which made me realize I don’t want to be with him. It was the question would you rather hug or kiss? And if so you have to do it. Well I’ve never kissed before so I said hug but I didn’t want to hug him! So I told him I didn’t want to and short after I made an end to the relationship. I still wasn’t convinced I was gay, I thought maybe I am bi, so the next year I did the same thing. I got a boyfriend but quickly realized I didn’t like him.. I liked this girl from my class. So me being 11 years old went online and chatted people around the world about it. To this day (I am 14 now so 4 years later since I was 10/11 years) I still talk to her! My mom eventually found out I was talking to a ‘stranger’ which she definitely isn’t for me. She took my phone and went through it and quickly found out that I am a lesbian. She still often asks me if I really don’t like boys and I always tell her I am fully gay. When I was about 12 I came out to my class in school. They were very cool about it and didn’t mind at all. Now I am in 2 years further and I don’t really feel the need to tell people anymore. I mean when ur straight you don’t tell everyone too right? So now every time somebody asks me if I am gay I will simply answer yes, I am not afraid of coming out or accepting myself. Because I did, but I don’t think it’s necessary.

I am SwatKat. I am a lesbian. A proud one, I must add.

I am from India. I was about 13 or 14yrs old, when I had my first real crush on my school teacher. I grew up very tomboyish and I always knew in the back of my mind that I was a bit different from the girls that were around me. When I realized that I was developing feelings for my school teacher, it was soo overwhelming but I wasn’t fighting the feeling. I accepted and told myself that “I always knew that I am different. Now, I get to be very unique from others. Probably, the only one feeling this way in the whole world.” I didn’t know anything about LGBTQ community because of the country I am in.
I never hid my craziness for that particular teacher in my school. All of my schoolmates knew how much I liked that teacher and even the teacher knew it. But I wasn’t treated badly or anything. I guess, I got lucky for a while or they dismissed me as I was a teen kid.
When I reached 18yrs, things got real. I watched Friends and saw Carol and Susan being lesbians on-screen. I was soo relieved to see that lesbian is the term and I never knew it was a real word. I searched for the word and came across so many articles and news regarding LGBTQ community and TV shows even.
My fear to live in India started peeking. There was a girl in my school who confessed that she was having feelings for me. I was very pleased and saw how brave she was, telling her feelings to me. She and I started a relationship that went on for 7years while we both were in the closet. Unfortunately, we had to split up as neither of our parents would accept and its India. Section 377 was imposed that criminalizes homosexuality. I suppressed my real feelings and hid myself in the closet. That break up tore me down as I was all alone and couldn’t talk about it to anyone. I shutdown myself. To the people in my life, all they witnessed is “Two best friends stopped talking to eachother.” But I couldn’t say who I was to her – to anyone. The society sucks!
Then one day, I went so far away from my home and texted to my loving elder sister that I wanted to talk to her about something. I was crying so much because I was about to type the truth about myself. Couldn’t stop the tears nor wanting to hold back.
I wrote to my Sister – “I don’t think I am straight.”
She replied, “What do you mean – you don’t think?”
I said, “I mean, I am not straight.”
She replied, “Okay. I know. Where are you now?”
I said, “You know?”
She replied, “Ofcourse. I have been around you and I know. I am here to support you. Also, I knew the moment you left Beckett (Castle) and ran towards Rizzoli (Rizzloi & Isles).”
This moment with my Sister made me laugh so much and at the same time, I felt like my walls are falling. She has always been a huge support for me since 2015. I am still not completely out. But I hid myself and my lifestyle till 2014.
The helpless feeling where I would get panic attacks thinking if I have to live this life in a closet forever. Those feelings pushed me to come out and I am so grateful that I did.
India is still not a better place in terms of love. I came out to my important people and majority just said “We know.” There I was shocked that they already knew and they were talking to me as always.

I guess my fear made me a prisoner for a long long time. But I still tear up when I confess that I am a lesbian. The shivers will be there for a longer time?
Now, I have people whom I made friends with because of TV series like “Rizzoli & Isles, Wynonna earp and Lost Girl”, a huge LGBTQ fanbase via Facebook. They are my family now. I am thankful to everyone in my life.

One particular person in my life. She is my best friend, my family. We are online friends for 6yrs now and we met through the Rizzoli & Isles Facebook Fanpage. I haven’t met her in person yet but she makes me and my life soo much better. She belongs to LGBTQ as well.
I have 9 close friends, who are from different parts of the world belonging to LGBTQ community – 2 wonderful ladies from United Kingdom, 1 wonderful woman from Denmark (The one who suggested that I should watch Wynonna Earp), 1 wonderful woman from Australia, 1 wonderful woman from Sweden, 1 wonderful woman from Lebanon, 2 wonderful ladies from Germany and 1 wonderful woman from Belgium.

I believe in kindness and love! #LoveIsLove

Just as Me, myself and I !

So I pretty much knew I was gay from a very young age. I have always been attracted to women. But as most people I just hid how I felt and had a few boyfriends. I just kept it in for so long and always felt alone and I just wanted too scream some days ” I’m Queer” .. but was always too scared to say anything to my family or friends. Just one day I couldn’t cope any more I didn’t want too be in the relationship I was in and I just cried most nights, I was so confused and scared. So I just braved it up and got my Mum, Sister and Brother together and told them I was GAY !. My Sister and Brother were awesome and just said we kinda knew really. My Mum not so much or my Dad actually.. They both disowned me, wanted to get me help .. I moved out of home and didn’t speak to them for years, not that I did want too, they just couldn’t deal with the fact I was gay. My friends on the other hand were fantastic, so supportive.. The ting is as much as it broke my heart about my Mum and Dad, I just felt so liberated and best of all FREE to be me just ME ! And that was the game changer in my life. I would always advise people to come out as your people around you that love you will always support you. Holding in who you are is the WORST! . I’m there for anyone that wants to come out as I know how scary and hard it is. Be yourself and as Dom said you will SHINE !!!

Pansexual

I was 17 when I realized that I was into more than just guys I guess it was always in my mind but I never truly accepted it until my junior year of high. It was easy coming out to my friends since they had been suspecting for a while but it was difficult to tell my family my dad accepted me as I was but my mother never acknowledged or spoke to me about but I’ve never been happier since the day I came out

I guess I’m a lesbian but I usually just use the term gay

I really should have figured my attraction to girls sooner. As early as I could remember I grew up wishing I was gay, funny enough. I was upset because I found girls so incredible and amazing and I wished I was attracted to them instead. (I was lol) I’d say it finally clicked when I watched glee. For the first time in my life I felt like I understood my own feelings. Santana’s storyline made me realize I’d loved girls all along I’d just been pushing it down unintentionally. I was so happy to finally feel seen. Representation matters, and I’m so glad Earpers can have a similar experience with the incredible representation on this show.

Human

I love who I love.
Growing up I knew I was different. I was a bit of an introvert. Didn’t want to be around anyone. I felt awkward. I always wanted to please my family. I wanted to leave my little town and never look back as soon as I graduated. I joined the Marines. But I still felt like I needed to please my family. Long story short, Two crappy marriages later (and two wonderful children), I decided to do me and not worry about anything else. I have found someone that truly makes me happy. And my family loves her.
We will all have our ups and downs, but that’s love/relationships.
Be you no matter what. Love the one who loves you.

I am proud to be who I am

I always knew I liked girls. But I waited until I was 20 to come out. I am 34 now. I told my parents first. I didn’t have the strength to tell them verbally so I wrote a letter that I gave to my mother. She cried and my father just told me: we suspected it your mother is just shocked by the confirmation but we prefer to see you happy with a girl than unhappy with a man. Don’t worry it will be fine. Always be proud of who you are. And he took me in his arms. I then told all the family and friends who took it pretty well. Apart from 1 or 2 non-tolerant people. Since that day, I don’t hide anymore and my family doesn’t hide from me either and I am very proud of who I am. Today I have a 9 year old daughter that I had with my ex wife. She knows very well that she has 2 mothers and that it is quite normal even if in France homosexuality is less tolerated than in other countries.

I am QUEER

I was always attracted to both men and women and deep down I knew that I like both men and women as I don’t look them as genders I look them as beautiful heart. I am from India and I never got the courage to share this with my family that for me love is love but hopefully soon I will let them know that I am QUEER !!

In the sea of my life there are still no real waves but the sea is no longer calm.

I would like to start with a line from a song I love:

Siamo destini
We are destinies

Siamo sempre noi
we are always us

Ma più vicini
but closer

the singer is “Zucchero” the song is “blu”

At the age of 30 I understood that destiny exists, but I also understood that I have to help destiny to come true.
At the age of 30 I realized that I still have to understand what happiness can really give me.
I grew up in a good Italian family, I never lacked love … but they always told me I was a certain way because I had to be perfect in society.
They never asked me what I wanted …. and my fault was never saying what I really wanted.
5 years ago I left my city, moving to Milan for work and this gave me the opportunity to understand
something more about myself.
I was supposed to marry a guy my family loved … but I couldn’t suppress the voice inside me that leads me to love women … and I had the courage to cancel the marriage … I started asking myself what I wanted.
But I do not deny that I am afraid of people’s judgment, fear stops me, fear makes me wear a mask every day, fear confuses me.
For society I am still the girl from a good family, with a good job and a good mental stability but they don’t know that inside I have a volcano of feelings that fight each other.
Last Sunday at a fair in the city, there was a fortune teller in a booth, I was walking and she came to meet me, she looked me in the eyes and told me that inside I suffer but I also have a lot of light to give … it’s was the first stranger to understand this.
In the sea of my life there are still no real waves but the sea is no longer calm.
I just need to have more courage.