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Since I was a kid. It all started during my elementary days. I am avoiding one of my classmate because I am ashamed of her. Like she’s so beautiful and everyone likes her. Then one time our teacher assigned our permanent seating arrangement and I was shocked because she is my seatmate! We are awkward to each other then. So that was the time that I know to myself that I like girls and boys.
I knew I was different from about 9 or 10 but I knew I was gay when my teacher in 8th grade, giving a talk about sexuality, gave all the girls a survey to ask, “on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you desire a boyfriend?”. It was an odd question but it was anonymous so I answered truthfully. He then collected the papers and read out the numbers aloud “8, 10, 9, 2! Two??? Wow.” The class laughed…I was mortified. I spent the next 20 years hiding this truth from myself and everyone around me.
In order to keep up pretenses I slept around and dated every guy I could but I never felt love. It always felt like friends with benefits. I joined the military at 26 during Dont Ask Dont Tell and after I started dating women, in secret, I still did my duty at work but that law kept me from feeling connected to my fellow troops. I couldn’t share my dreams or hopes or loves. I couldn’t talk about my weekend trips without dancing around pronouns or lying altogether. I lied to myself, my family, my friends…i felt like a fake. I was externally happy-go-lucky and adventurous but inside…I felt alone. Empty.
At 30 yrs old, I finally stuck with one girlfriend longer than a few months and we moved in together. I couldn’t keep lying and I wanted to free myself of the burden I had felt most of my life. It was time to be honest. I was a grown-ass woman; brave in every other area of my life except this one. No more lies.
I knew my biggest rejection would come from my religious family so I went big and started with my parents; if I could tell them, I could tell anyone. I knew that the moment I said it out loud I would lose them forever but I could no longer live for others; it was time to be authentically me. My parents and I got into a car to head to the beach and on the way home I told them I had to tell them something big. They saw my face turn white, my voice began to shake, tears started to fall. They said, “Mija…whats wrong? What is it?”. I said that I was gay. I knew I was attracted to women and I was tired of living a lie. I then commenced to crying even harder. My father spoke up, “Lisa, you are my daughter…you are the same person you were 5 minutes ago, nothing has changed. I love you. I will always love you.”. My strict religious father surprised me with LOVE. My mother took it harder but she came around over time.
I’m 44 now. I’m happy, healthy, and OUT to ALL . In the military I have to still be careful who I let into my circle but those who know me, accept all of me. I am finally allowed to serve and feel connected to my team. I am absolutely unafraid to live and love. It feels so good to say that. I lost some homophobic friends and family members along the way but you find that when the lies are gone you are able to have closer bonds with those who truly love you. It was worth it.
Sending love and amazing vibes to all my fellow LGBTQ+ family. May you all be free to explore your path and live devoid of any shame that stifles your happiness.
I’m queer (bi). I madly love my girlfriend, with whom I live. We are raising her son. We love, we are happy. But, our parents (both her and mine) do not recognize our feelings and deny them. We want our parents to know that their children are happy.
I’ve never admitted it before, ever, to anyone… I’ve spent 15 years feeling like there is something wrong with me! I am brand new to this world and to earpers and I’m blown away by the community feel. I was introduced just a few weeks ago after reading Dom’s birthday post and after reading it I related so much. I was so inspired by her words. I related to the feelings of suppression and putting the part of me I knew to be true to the back of my mind to pretend it didn’t exist. The part of me that I know is also attracted to woman. I’ve got that feeling where my tummy is doing flips by even just typing it. Because I’ve never faced it until now.
I’ve been in heterosexual relationships my whole life and have been in my current relationship for the last 10 years. I have young children who are my everything. This is part of the question that runs through my mind, how can I be in a long term relationship with a man, be a mum and still know that I do have an attraction to woman too? Does it make me a bad person? Or a bad mum? My partner would also likely feel betrayed that I never talked about this. I don’t even know how he would feel about it. There are so many scenarios in my head.
I’m still not ready to verbalise what I am but at least I have finally admitted it to myself. Maybe over time, meeting the right people and continuing to be inspired within the STW community I will one day be at my bravest. But for now, all I know is that Dom sparked something within me to be true to myself. I’m a thirty year old bisexual.
I first Had an inclination my freshman year of college, when I began to have feelings for my best friend(10/06). I kept my feelings hidden for fear of rejection. I became involved years later, (10/11), with a girl and fell in love for the first time, I knew then who I was. I came out to close friends and family shortly afterwards. The best of them had known about my sexuality for years, so it was nice and easy. It has taken a couple of relationships for me to fully embrace myself. I’m very happy and proud of who I am.
I probably first realised that I was queer when I was about twelve years old but I wasn’t quite aware of it. I was just aware of the fact that I felt different. Then when I was around 14 I met some people who really changed my life and I think they honestly saved my life. They helped me realise myself not by doing anything specific but by just being themselves and embracing me. They helped me be open even when I was so scared. I went to my first ever pride (Exmouth pride in Devon) with them and I was so utterly scared that someone I knew from outside that group of friends might see me but they helped me to enjoy myself and it’ll always be such a treasured memory of mine. The first person I came out to that wasn’t also part of the lgbt+ community was one of my best mates when we were 16 and I can say that it thankfully went unbelievably well. Since then I’ve come out to a lot more people then I ever thought I would at this point in my life. It’s thanks to such incredible representation in the media such as wayhaught that have helped me come to terms with who I am and I can finally feel comfortable with who I am and who I love. It’s a process and I’m still learning, about myself as I tell more and more people. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be heading to university feeling happy and content if it weren’t for people like you Dominique Who have such courage to stand up and be themselves so to you and everyone in the lgbt+ community I say thank you and to those still struggling, it gets better I promise, so much better.
When I was about 11-12 I started to feel a little different from the other girls. They started to have crushes on the boys and I didn’t really have that. There was boys that I thought was good looking so I just thought that meant that I had a crush on them so that’s what I told my friends when they asked. I realized I didn’t really have a crush on them pretty quickly so I thought to myself “maybe I’m gay”. So went online and took 2 or 3 “am I gay?” quizzes. When I took them it said something about that I could be gay or bi. I then thought to myself “it could just be because I just hadn’t gotten to that age yet and it would be stupid to make a fuzz about it, so I kept on trying to be straight. When i was 14 about to turn 15 I got a crush on my best friend. I knew exactly what it was. I was no longer questioning if I liked girls since I now knew exactly how I felt about her. I chose not to say anything about it to her because she is the best friend I’ve ever had and I didn’t wanna mess that up since I thought she was probably straight. 6 months after I still had a crush on her and it had just grown and was stronger than ever and one day we talked and she came out to me and said she thought she might be bi and I said “me too” and explained that I had this crush on a girl, so I could just sit there and talk about all the feelings I had been hiding from her without revealing that it was her. I felt better for a few weeks. One day I had a meltdown(as I sometimes have) and ended up mentioning the crush because it had been stressing me out they said something about “the dude” and I said something like “it’s hard because it’s not a dude” and they understood. So that’s pretty much how I came out to my friends. I feel even more proud now than ever. I wasn’t ashamed before, just scared of everything changing. I’m still not out to my parents because I know exactly how they feel about homosexuality and everything in between. I haven’t really hid it I’ve just never said “I’m gay” straight to their face and I’m not planning on it for a long while and I’m okay with that. I’m out to my sisters because I know that they’d understand. I’m feeling great, proud and i feel free to love whoever I want at the pretty early age of 15 with my entire life ahead of me.
This is going to be a long story. Sorry in advance. This is my story and this is who I am.
Growing up in a small (3 stoplight kind of small) town in Southern California wasn’t always the easiest. This was the kind of town where everyone knew someone, who knew you. Everyone ended up knowing your business whether you wanted them to know or not.
As a kid and preteen, I always knew I was different. While other girls were concentrated on boys and learning how to put on makeup, here I was more concerned about not having enough daylight to climb rocks, ride bikes, or play outside. The only thing I wanted from a boy was to have someone to play catch with. I was always shy around girls, which is probably why the majority of my friends were boys.
As the years passed, this blonde haired, blue eyed, knobby knees kid didn’t really change.
Come high school (1999-2003 in case anyone was curious), I was still the athletic girl who hung out with all the boys. At age 16 I had my first kiss. My first kiss was with my best friend (he and I are still friends to this day). Nothing ever really ever came from that kiss. It wasn’t long after senior year started did I find out my old neighbor had a crush on me. Apparently he had a crush on me since 6th grade. We had many classes together that year. We would even walk to class together. I always saw us as just friends. One day he asked me to one of the dances at school. I had always wanted to go to the dances at school, but never thought I would have someone to take me. I agreed to go with him as long as he understood we were going as friends. The big night came and went. All the fun was had that evening and after that, life went back to normal. I was still shy and quiet.
Fast forward six months. MYSPACE and Yahoo! Messenger came into my life.
My eyes were opened to a whole new world. It was life changing!
I met so many new people outside of my tiny country town. I never really asked myself why I never wanted to date anyone. The time came when I met this girl online, we’ll just call her Mary, from the other side of my state. We would chat EVERY SINGLE DAY. Some days were just in a chat room and other days on video chat. I had NEVER spent this much time talking to anyone before. I was completely head over heels and didn’t even realize it. One day, one of my sisters asked me why I was spending so much time talking to this girl. She straight up asked me if I was a lesbian. I was scared and didn’t quite know how to answer her at the time partly because I myself didn’t really know. I ended up telling her NO. Going back to Mary, neither one of us ever told the other how we obviously felt about one another. We both graduated and moved on with the next chapter in our lives.
Summer after high school, I had already started taking summer classes for college. I was over at a friends house and he was chatting with his buddy who lived out of state. This buddy had recently gone through a rough divorce and needed a friend to talk to. My friend introduced us and we started becoming friends. That’s all we were for a while. The more we talked the more we liked each other. Long story short, I moved up to AK. We got married, this unfortunately didn’t last very long. I realized it wasn’t fair to either one of us for me to stay and try to work things out if I couldn’t be 100% honest with myself. I still felt like something was missing. Looking back I realize that I was running away when I moved to AK. Running away because I was scared of how my family, my friends, and my community would react to me telling them I was queer. I told my family I was moving back to CA. I told them I was queer. My parents are very open minded and love all of us no matter what. But with that being said, it took some time for my mom to warm up to the idea.
Not quite ready to look everyone face to face, I moved back to CA but not to the part where I grew up. I moved in with a friend I had known for a while. We went out to the Gayborhood fairly often and I really learned who I was and who I’ve always been. This friend of mine and I ended up dating for almost 3 years. I owe her the world for helping me at that time. Due to many differences this relationship wasn’t meant to be. I finally moved back “home” to be close to family.
It took 5 years of me being gone to realize home was where I was meant to be. I was able to get close to my family again. You know what, it was the best decision I ever made. I absolutely love my family and I’m very lucky to have them. They welcomed me back with open arms. I was able to reconnect with old friends and make some new friends. One of those new friends became my wife about 7 years ago. We have been together for almost 12 years now. Although we are no longer living in CA, we have made a home and are now a family of 
.
No matter what life throws at you, you will rise back up and shine. 
come at the end of a storm.
For the curious minds out there, “Mary” and I are still great friends. We have been there for each other through all of the ups and downs life has thrown at us over the years.
I have never posted anything serious on social media and I do not like to post for all to see, but I wanted to get my story out there somehow. When I saw the video that @dominauep_c uploaded I thought I might be able to help others with my story. I understand there is a certain limit on characters with these social media outlets, but I think my story is pretty crazy and actually inspiring for anyone willing to listen. Some days I don’t even know how I am still here and still sane. The story I am about to tell isn’t for sympathy or pity but it is for hope. It’s for others to realize that things can get dark but there is always that glimmer of hope at the end.
I was born in an upper middle class family. I was the middle child and probably the cutest out of my siblings. From what I can recall I had a great childhood and a loving family. When I was 13 my family decided to take one more camping trip before the school year started. Little did I know then, but that day my whole life would change.
My mother ended up having a heart attack on the vacation and would never come back home. My father being the man that he was ended up remarrying 3 months after my mother’s passing to a abusive drug addict with 6 kids. With my fathers decision to remarry our extended family fell away. My life went from a loving family of 5 to a family of 11. Life was terrible for me and my siblings. I was constantly physical and verbally abused for years by my step mother with my fathers knowledge. At the end of my ropes, I finally fought back. My father choosing his new family kicked me and my siblings out. My grandparents took us in but only to a certain extent. We lived in their garage and could only bathe in their pool. My sister during this time was to young and had to move back in with my father and my brother ended up moving away to college, leaving me at the hands of my grandparents. Once again physically and verbally abused, my only escape was to go to college.
Going into my freshmen year of college my father decided he wanted me back in his life. He divorced his wife and got a small apartment for us to live. On my first semester break from college, I went home to his apartment to find it abandoned, no note nothing, my dad once again left me and moved in with his new girlfriend. With no where to go, I moved into my car.
When the semester break was over I returned to college and actually became good friends with a girl from my hometown. Telling her my story, her family took me in. I had a loving family again. It was great and awesome until one day I fell in love with that girl. We hid this relationship from her family, and our closest friends for 11 years. We played the straight life in public, but behind closed doors we were in love. Through those closeted 11 years together we went on dates with men to keep rumors of us together at bay.
At the age of 25 I finally saved enough money to buy my first house. My hopes were to have my girlfriend move in with me and actually come out to our friends and family. Like everything else in my life things did not go as planned. We immediately became estranged from my girlfriends family and also mine. It was hell for 2 years for us. I was getting death threats on the regular from her family that I ruined their life and I turned their daughter gay. I was an abomination to society and shouldn’t be loved for what I am. Despite what we were going through we got married in those two years. My wife’s father did not show and her mother the day before decided she would come. My family ended up coming but only a handful and our wedding was mostly celebrated by our friends who supported us.
We bought a house shortly after our wedding and in hopes of starting a family. I am going to fast forward three years and cut out more heartache of miscarriages to current day.
I am 33 now, I have my own family. I am married to the woman I fell in love with 14 years ago. We have a beautiful 16 month old spitfire and one on the way. We have a beautiful home and finally some hope of happiness and peace.I no longer talk to my family for they believe being gay and brining children into this world is cruel. My wife’s family accepts/tolerates us/ me.
I am telling my story to bring hope to those going through dark times and for those who feel alone. We are not alone and we can bring change and we need to bring change. It is important to fight and keep fighting for what we believe in no matter how dark times may get. Fight for yourself and fight for love.
I will end on words that have kept me going “happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn the light on” – Dumbledore
I knew I like boys and girls since I was at a very young age (5-6) I didn’t really think much about it until I was in year 7 and everyone started dating, up until high school I only had a couple of crushes on boys. When I got in to year 9 I was getting really close with one of my friends and we started “talking”. And that’s the same year in school we looked at different sexuality’s and feelings, I finally realised the way I felt about people had a name. I’m out and a proud bisexual.
